The Genie in the White House
There’s a genie in the White House that inhabits Donald Trump’s body instead of an oil lamp. Few Americans know about it (a transgender genie). And you don’t have to rub Donald Trump the wrong way for the genie to pop out with explosive words and actions. The genie decided to visit Trump’s corpus and remain because of Trump’s love for oil and fossil fuels which mirror’s the genie’s feelings since it’s originally from the Middle East. (Though some say the genie looks a lot like Newt Gingrich.)
The genie transferred to Trump’s body when the president visited Saudi Arabia, a gift from the King to seal Saudi friendship with America. Though it resides primarily in Trump’s stomach, Trump’s puffy red face and red hair have become more pronounced since the genie’s entrance. Unfortunately, the genie is only visible to those who believe in its existence, but its presence can be inferred by Trump’s behavior. It’s unclear whether it is a good genie or bad genie, and whose interest it is serving. Rumor has it that Putin originally gave the genie to the Saudi King who passed it on to The Donald.
When Trump is quiet or acting in a ‘normal’ fashion, perhaps reading from a teleprompter or speaking to his children, the genie is usually asleep in Trump’s stomach. However, when Trump is angry or lying to people about one thing or another, the genie partially emerges from his mouth and feeds him information he can use, Trump’s cheeks getting redder at that time. The genie is particularly voluble when Trump is tweeting as the genie finds that very entertaining.
Trump’s fits of rage and inappropriate statements and behavior stimulate the genie to egg him on further. Previously living in an autocratic state and a monarchy, the genie is unfamiliar with democratic norms and never tries to constrain Trump’s conduct. In fact, it prefers to see The Donald bloviating, bullying and blustery, as it believes a king should act in that fashion. Having not been raised in a democracy, the genie is unaware of the differences between a president and a king or the checks and balances by the other parts of government to keep a president under control.
The genie would probably be more comfortable back in Saudi Arabia, but first it has to grant its temporary master three wishes. Trump hasn’t asked for any yet, but it’s probably just a matter of time. Perhaps the genie could make Kim agree to negotiate and have North Korea stand down with its nuclear armaments. Or perhaps it could give Robert Mueller a heart attack that would keep him out of action for a while. Or perhaps it could set up The Donald with another porn star who was even hotter than Stormy Daniels for a few trysts in the White House. Melania would never know and this way Trump could out do Bill Clinton who only had that young intern. Trump always needs to be the best in everything, so why not a porn star in the Oval Office? Nothing that Trump does seems to surprise the American public or his genie any more.
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