Future Model Prisoner (Column and Cartoon)
Yeah, I’m a jerk.
To be a Trump sycophant one must shred their dignity, soul, respectability, credibility, decency, and perhaps all traces of what’s left of their humanity. Reason and logic are pretty much out of the question too. In return, you may acquire a nice orange jumpsuit.
When the first drips would come out about Trump’s attempts to obstruct justice, his defenders would argue that he was new at the job and didn’t know better. Some are still using that defense. I understand that every president has to learn on the job, but they usually have some basic knowledge of how it works, or at least what’s legal and illegal. Also, defending Trump with the argument that he doesn’t know what he’s doing, and he’s a dumbass takes away every reason for putting the guy in the office. Sure, he proved he was a bumbling racist idiot on the campaign trail, but the argument was he’s a genius and he’s the only one who could do the job.
That argument has also been used for others in the administration, like Jared Kushner when he lied about meeting with Russians and had to resubmit his application for a security clearance, and then again, and then again, and then again. He doesn’t have any experience and doesn’t know better to stop breaking the law, but he’s going to bring peace to the Middle East.
Now, some people are using this argument to defend Hope Hicks. The argument may actually apply in this case. It’s very believable from Ms. Hick’s background that she doesn’t have a clue or any good reason to be working in the White House, other than Trump finding her pretty.
Wednesday evening, I posted on social media, “I don’t really want to demean or stereotype any profession, but maybe…just maybe, you shouldn’t hire models as White House Communications Directors or conspire with them to obstruct justice. There’s gotta be more qualified people for that.” Nixon had very experienced people and it still didn’t work out for him. Of course, Nixon didn’t have a Republican sycophant Congress either.
Do you remember that meeting in Trump Tower between Don Jr., Jared, Paul Manafort and Russian spies? When it leaked out, Trump was in Germany and on his way home back to Washington. He and his staff put together a bullshit excuse on Air Force One for The New York Times who broke the story and sent fourteen questions to the White House. Instead of telling the truth that the meeting was about the Russians providing dirt on Hillary Clinton, the Trump stupids concocted a bogus story about Russian adoptions.
Special Counsel Robert Mueller has become very interested in this statement and the meetings around it. His team has told the White House that this is one of about a dozen topics they want to question Donald Trump about. If Scooby Doo had been a part of these meetings, he’d be saying “ruh-roh” right about now.
If you’re thinking, “gosh. It’s not a crime to lie to the media or the public,” you’re right. It’s not a crime, though it should be. It would be justice if someone went to jail for lying to me about stealing my Oreos. But it’s not. But, what is a crime is obstructing justice, which may have occurred during these meetings around the bogus statement. Also, let’s not forget that collusion thing which Trump was trying to hide.
Mark Corallo served as the spokesperson for Trump’s legal team. He was involved in a few of these meetings, and he abruptly quit last July. Mueller wants to talk to him. According to sources, Corallo plans to tell Mueller about a conference call between him, Trump, and Hope Hicks.
Corallo plans to tell investigators that the emails Don Jr. traded with his Russian contacts and other campaign members were a focus of this conference call. He’s going to tell them that Hicks said the emails “will never get out.” Corallo was concerned Hicks was contemplating obstructing justice, and he provided these details contemporaneously to three colleagues who later gave it to The Times.
If you’re a Trump supporter, you’re probably thinking “what’s ‘contemporaneously’ mean?” That means “existing, occurring, or originating during the same time.” If you Google it, a picture of James Comey shows up. It means Corallo told three of his colleagues these details while they were happening. It lends credibility.
Corallo told his colleagues that Hicks was being naive or was suggesting that the emails could be withheld from investigators. Another huge concern was that Hicks said this in the presence of Trump without a lawyer present. That means nobody can claim attorney-client privilege. Ruh-roh. If there’s an orange shitgibbon/former model privilege, it doesn’t have any protection in court. That privilege may be in Fire and Fury.
Hope Hicks will eventually testify to Mueller and probably to Congress. She has issued a conflicting story to Corallo’s. I hope she’s schooled enough to know what happens when you lie to the FBI. Lying to Congress is illegal too, but this Congress full of Republican sycophants assisting the president’s obstruction can’t be taken seriously. She better take Robert Mueller seriously. He’s not playing. Ask Paul Manafort, George Papadopoulos, or Michael Flynn. Ruh-roh.
I’m going to make a bold prediction: Hope Hicks is either going to jail or striking a plea bargain. Hell, she may be wearing a wire right now. Did I just make the White House paranoid? Sorry…not really. I think I’ll tweet that to Trump later today.
Jared, Ivanka, Hope Hicks, Kellyanne Conway, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, etc. There are too many people in this White House who don’t belong there. That includes Donald Trump.
Creative notes: Yes, this cartoon is mean and unfair. Cartoonists always argue that we shouldn’t make fun of people’s physical appearances. I have rules about that too, but I’ll throw ’em out the window if it makes me laugh.
But, every time we draw a cartoon we’re making fun of someone’s appearance.
A few months after I started working at The Free Lance-Star in 1998, I drew a cartoon about the city council. One of the members was a heavy-set guy. My editor actually screamed at me and said: “at this newspaper, we don’t make fun of how people look.” My response was, “then why do you have a cartoonist?” That was not a smart response on my part because you should never make your editor think about whether they need you or not.
After Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor of California, I was having a discussion with other cartoonists and one argued that we shouldn’t make fun of his accent. I still think that’s way too P.C. and one of the dumbest arguments I’ve ever heard. It came from a smart guy I respect too. But, an accent is almost physical. It’s definitely part of the personality. It’s not an insult to make fun of it. If it’s there, then it’s there. Sometimes when we draw people we’re not just drawing their physical appearance, we’re also drawing their personality.
So, yeah. I made fun of Sanders’ looks. I’m also making fun of how ridiculous she is. If you don’t want to be made fun of, then don’t say dumb things. Maybe stop lying all the time too.
Email Clay Jones at [email protected]
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