I wrote this column for a small Seattle area paper (The Auburn Reporter) in March of 2007. When I reread it today, I was struck by my unintentional prophecy.
It’s Time To Do Nothing!
by Doug Bursch
I’ve decided to form a new political party. We’ll call ourselves the “do-nothings”. Our goal will be to complain about everything while we do absolutely nothing to change anything. We’ll just wait in the wings for learned, well-intentioned men and women to offer their best solutions to the maladies of our time. Once these individuals have clearly articulated their plans to transform society, we will appear from the shadows and actively campaign against their irresponsible attempts to change things. Whether a new transportation initiative or an overhaul of our educational system, we will actively campaign against any and all proposals for change.
Nay-saying will be the motivating virtue of our “do-nothing” revolution. Our strength will be in our unwavering opposition to everything. We will become rhetoric wordsmiths; carefully parsing the verbiage of change until all plans, propositions, and proposals seem foolish.
You may ask why we would choose to crusade against the dreams of well intentioned visionaries. Why? Because change always costs too much, it’s never the best plan, it’s obviously politically motivated, and who do they think they are anyway. We will rally against change because cynical criticism is the spirit of our age.
Sure, we may occasionally advocate some form of change, but only the easy kind. We may repeal it, cut it, slash it, and get rid of it. But start something new? Well, that would be irresponsible. So it’s no to the viaduct, no to the tunnel, no to more roads, no to repairs, no to anything and everything that others propose. Why? Because we are the party of “do-nothing.” If the world crumbles, that’s the world’s fault. They should have come up with a better plan. Of course that plan wouldn’t have worked either.
My “do-nothing” party will be able to champion this can’t-do cause indefinitely. Remember, there is always something wrong with every solution offered. Every law has a fault, every initiative has a negative consequence, every politician has a flaw. My “do-nothing” party will exploit and expose every weakness and failing until no one can do anything but pass legislation that basically does nothing at all.
Once we’ve shut down the political machinery of change, we can sit around and complain about what’s wrong with everything and everyone. There is so much wrong with this world and so much time to talk about it. Entire news programs, radio broadcasts, and newspaper columns are dedicated to such endeavors. I’m sure these media outlets will welcome our perpetually dissenting voice.
Maybe our “do-nothing” party will branch out beyond our political walls and lend help to other institutions and individuals. As we broaden our focus, we can lament what’s wrong with the church, the media, the entertainment industry, our country, our city, our neighbors, our family, and even God. If all goes well, we’ll be able to identify what is wrong with every single person, institution, philosophy, ideology, and religion on the face of the earth.
“Do-nothing, do nothing but complain!” Now that is a slogan worthy of our age.
On second thought, starting a “do-nothing” party might be somewhat redundant. People might confuse us with current like-minded organizations and individuals. Anyway, starting a new party would take a lot of extra work, time, and energy. Most likely it would be a big waste of money and resources. Starting something new kind of betrays the ideal we are trying to promote. To be safe, let’s just sit on the sideline and continue to do nothing but complain! It seems to be working just fine.
Doug is the Host of Live from Seattle with Doug Bursch on 820 AM KGNW.
Douglas Bursch is the author of Posting Peace: Why Social Media Divides Us and What We Can Do About It. He also hosts The Fairly Spiritual Show podcast.