The Los Angeles Times recently reported that former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, separated after she learned he had fathered a child more than a decade ago … with a longtime member of their household staff. Mr. Schwarzenegger publicly apologized for this prior indiscretion and Ms. Shriver has yet to issue any public statement. Needless to say, other Guvernator mistresses are coming out of the woodworks and that only promises more media fodder for the months ahead.
This stuff just never ends and it no longer surprises. Our 24/7 info-entertainment Media is going to run with it in order to further distract our ignorant masses from the depressing economic and political realities. Only this weekend we were treated to another wealthy, egotistical and powerful global uber-mensch being charged with sexual crimes in New York – Dominique Strauss-Kahn (DSK) head of the IMF. These revelations are all part of the Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen School of shallow wealthy men behaving outrageously and immorally.
I have taken a respite from repetitive and depressing ranting about the Decline of the American Empire to happily wallowing in this sordid muck. Some TMV women readers assume that I have morphed from a liberal dissenter of the status quo into a conservative misogynist who advocates for the destruction of Planned Parenthood. The debt-ceiling shenanigans in Washington DC will gut many social programs over the next several months as sanity and the public’s best interests have completely left our political and economic debates.
I can no longer keep arguing about facts and policy when our nation’s political and business leadership is so completely out-of-touch with reality in their frantic efforts to perpetuate a bankrupt and wholly corrupt status quo at any cost to everyone else. It’s become far more entertaining to spend time on these sex scandals of the high and mighty. Too many TMV readers and contributors take things far too seriously – when most of our current leaders deserve no better than being laughed off the stage whenever they start speaking.
I fear that too many American women suffer from unrealistic expectations – particularly those who were spoiled from childhood and who grew up in the upper middle class or among the wealthy. They expect fairy tale endings, to be worshiped as goddesses, and thus perpetual bliss. When reality hits, they have to run away or they try to change the channel. To keep their sanity, they might have to be more European in their attitudes towards certain men.
Ms. Shriver might be one of those wealthy delusional women who married a wealthy, famous and powerful man and still expected endless fidelity from him. She should call up DSK’s spouse Anne Sinclair in Paris. DSK was a well-known womanizer and even had an affair with an employee at the IMF in 2008. Perhaps a conviction of attempted rape or a lesser-included crime might be enough to justify a divorce, but standard male philandering doesn’t come close to that. (Even philandering by married women has become far more common over the past several decades.) I’m sure many TMV readers are already enraged that I might be blaming the spouse, but again they miss the entire point.
There is no ethical or moral (or even financial or common sense) rationale for marital sexual infidelity. However, it appears many in our species are hard-wired for it, and we’ve been grappling with it for thousands of years. Perpetuating unrealistic expectations does not help in dealing with the reality. The only difference comes between normal people who feel guilt and remorse, and those among us who are psychopaths and sociopaths who have no consciences. The latter not only are callously unfaithful, they are manipulators and charlatans who use others to amass power, money and fame. Psychopaths and sociopaths cannot be changed and should be avoided by the rest of us humans.
Eventually mistake-prone and imperfect humans need to be forgiven – but after some time spent in public humiliation and earthly purgatory. That’s what the Catholic sacrament of confession was designed to accomplish – a means towards understanding sin and a path towards reconciliation with others and spiritual redemption. However, the Church also wisely realized that we repeat our mistakes endlessly and therefore forgiveness is also endless so long as we make most human efforts to avoid repetition.
It used to be that Catholics went to confession frequently because the Church understood we were fallible humans. I’m only bringing this up as an agnostic former Catholic since Arnold and Maria are ostensibly practicing Catholics. The Church does not readily grant divorces and annulments – particularly for sexual dalliances – even if they result in new human beings and unintended extended families.
Some may take umbrage, exception and outrage with my simple belief that marital infidelity does not justify divorce. I believe continuing spousal abuse would justify divorce, as would a number of other singular and multiple acts. Tiger Woods having hundreds of affairs probably makes the situational cut to justify divorce, but one or two sexual mistakes probably would not be enough.
Everything is a matter of degree but at some point we ultimately go too far for even the most reasonable and forgiving people who have to deal with us on a daily basis. However, with the best interests of children in mind, I would argue against easy divorce anytime one spouse makes a major human error in judgment and conduct. I fortunately have not been involved in such situations with respect to my spouse but that does not prohibit me from commenting on these matters. At least I am fully aware of the temptations and vicissitudes of married life.
There is an argument that sex with many women is not unlike our consumer-driven society that worships materialism and the acquisition of even more goods and services – with sex just being another commodity or a major sign of virility or power. Until we value the really important things in life – friendships, families, honesty, integrity, good health, and the many people who surround us in our communities – we are trapped by a false and debilitating consumerism that engulfs all of our thoughts and activities.
Life is rather short and I cannot see much value in it without my spouse, our child, and our family and friends. It’s also difficult enough making it through each day financially in today’s warped economy to complicate life unnecessarily with additional sexual partners who would require monetary support. Some wealthy people may be able to afford such complex relationships but they might come at a price of mental serenity, peaceful homes, and accomplishing many other more important things.
Wealthy, fame and power are huge aphrodisiacs to the human ego. Numerous studies strongly indicate that people of both sexes who have far too much of these worldly attributes are far more likely to engage in a variety of immoral behavior including cheating, lying, stealing and believing the laws enacted for everyone do not apply to themselves.
As income and wealth disparities grow around the globe, we will see more and more types of outlandish behavior by our privileged elites. Unfortunately many in society take their moral and ethical cues from our wealthy leaders. Therefore a pervasive societal loss of respect for the law, any ethical and moral limitations, and respect for other human beings only grows with each passing month.
Some conservatives only decry failures of personal sexual behavior but honest human observers see the lack of morality and ethics creeping into all our human activities – particularly in many of our business dealings and in our relationships with those who are different from our selves.
I am greatly saddened that so many of our alleged moral and ethical teachers – priests, rabbis, ministers and those in religious life have been and continue to be amazingly silent on all the pervasive immorality that lead up to our financial and political disasters of the past several years. We have yet to honestly address the underlying root causes of our social rot, decay and decline. Thus we should not be surprised as our nation slides further and further into chaos.
Criticizing Mssrs. Woods, Sheen, Strauss-Kahn and Schwarzenegger might be highly entertaining but it merely diverts us from the greater moral rot that is damaging this nation and its people from within. Let’s hold these men up to public ridicule but we should all look in the mirror before it’s too late.
Submitted 5/17/11 by Marc Pascal happily ranting from pleasantly cooler Phoenix, Arizona.