Did your mother teach you how to make a proper apology when you were a little kid, otherwise you were grounded to your left ear for life? Me too. Did your mother or father tell you if you tried to weasel out, rather than telling the truth, it would go harder with you? Mine too.
In Western culture, an adequate apology, even for immigrants who have other ways of making recompense in their own cultures, is supposed to cover the entire ‘mea culpa’ territory and be direct, showing humility somehow, but not giving out a stilted high oratory, nor muffled as though gargling marbles.
Though most everyone carries ‘duck and cover’ as a survival instinct, public apology seems most effective when it is more along the lines of street talk, that is, down to earth, straightforward, heavy in nouns and verbs about the authentic issues and concerns… rather than vaguely stated without showing any gritty insight nor transparent accountability
Rather than carrying street cred though, Senator Larry Craig’s apology carries an odd vagary of language that a full and real apology would not. Instead of specificity in language, the limited lexicon used by the Senator gives the impression of trying to row around the huge dead elephant that washed up in his living room recently…
Senator Craig writes on his website: http://craig.senate.gov/keyportal.cfm
“To the Idahoans I represent, to my staff, my Senate colleagues and, most importantly, my wife and our family, I apologize for what I have caused.
I am deeply sorry.
I have little control over what people choose to believe…”
*****The last sentence infers that what has occurred is not an issue of facts based on knowing, but a fantasy of people’s ‘beliefs.’ Beliefs are far different than knowings. Thus Senator Craig tells us how to understand all this: beliefs can be challenged.
However, contrary to the Senator’s seeming attempt to redefine the issues, certain factual matters of law and legalities, still remain.
Let’s move to the first sentence, which covers to whom the Senator is making the apology: Idahoans, staff, colleagues, wife, family…. and all those are proper to appeal to.
Yet, it leaves out many people and groups of people who seem to have been ill-affected by his decisions in life, and his countervalent votes in public life. It leaves out people in the US who are already mortified about the state of the GOP in recent months and years. It leaves out those who currently have ‘business’ with him, who have allied with him and whom he was working on projects with, and now, have to start all over lobbying someone else. Lots of dreams of his Senatorial support died this week.
In our family if you offended the whole family and only apologized to your mother, father, and one cousin but left all others out who were nonetheless affected, that’d be a deal-breaker about your sincerity. Back to the corner you’d go to think things through more rationally.
The second sentence: “I am deeply sorry,†line has to be taken in context with an earlier line: “I apologize for what I have caused.†I wouldn’t put a cynical, “Yeah, sure you’re sorry, you’re sorry for being caught.†But, I agree with Michelle Malkin, certainly in concept: She calls the Senator’s words being a “crapweasel”
http://michellemalkin.com/2007/08/28/the-larry-craig-mess/
She’s referring to the on again, off again, Finnegan that Senator Craig has been doing to explain himself; the dodging and seeming prevaricating with great huffing pomposity.
There is huge aversion going on, as most can see. My analytic training in reading lexicon and syntactical subtext, tells me that in Senator Craig’s letter, the syntax appears to be arranged specifically in order to avoid, rather than to explicate. In other words, to present in opaque, instead of in all transparency.
“What I caused†is an effort toward accountability, but is weakened greatly by not accounting, not explicating what occurred and how it came to be. The phrase makes an inference, instead, that the writer did little or nothing that would have set this mess into motion… that some minor error set off this torque.
I don’t say this to revile the Senator; no person on this earth, as we saw recently with Mother Teresa herself, is without flaws, foibles and failings. I am more inclined to have sympathy for people who are otherwise good or trying to be to the best of their current knowledge, but who fall into a fracturing dilemma… most of us are on earth trying to learn and are doing ok some days… some days we’re better than we’re capable of being, and on other days, less than we could be… and all shades in between.
So, I’d rather say it this way, generally, whether about priests who intrude on children, whether about Neil Bush (G. W.’s brother) and his Savings and Loan debacle that caused the collapse of the hard-earned savings of elderly people… also without repair… in all these cases and so many more, the people responsible for the ‘failure’ or damage or breakage, write in big red letters that they are sidestepping, falsifying, or outright telling falsehoods when they do not fulfill the most basic apology we teach to our own little children, when adults do not speak as we would expect a five year old to speak in making a full apology that we would accept and thus begin to re-normalize relationships again.
There’s a saying in my family: if you want to make people despise you, give them Read the rest of this entry »