They were identical decaplets, split ten times from the same zygote, and hard to tell apart.
Tonight, all ten GOP men who want to be president of the free world, lined up behind tiny podiums as though they were about to play Jeopardy. They vied just as hard as any time-limited contestant on a game show. They were eager to hit the questions running as soon as they were called on by the moderator, Chris Matthews.
But the deciding factor in the presidential race is going to be authenticity, realness with people about real issues. Not just clabber. Tonight, most of the candidates flunked. Most of the men’s responses were caseworked. Most seemed to have rehearsed facts and figures too hard beforehand. Instead of sounding thoughtful, leaderly, unique… if you closed your eyes and listened only to the words, all of the words could have come from any one of them, or all of them. No differentiation.
Except perhaps for Sen. McCain’s suddenly bellowing about being willing to follow Osama Bin Laden to hell, precisely, the gates of. McCain’s rise in redness and volume whilst saying that, was like listening all evening to muzak but then all of a sudden someone had spliced in three bars of a screaming Robert Plant. Startling ‘pounce and blurt’ followed by ‘a flash and then gone’ sardonicus smile.
The most natural sounding were Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani and Tommy Thompson… all consummate politicians: old school, deeply experienced as politicos. Regardless of what they say, any pre-planned torque was barely evident.
The one who stumbled badly was Tom Tancredo, giving too long a preamble to answer the question, then failing to pinpoint the year of the Ben Franklin quote he had planned to use. The hook came for him as he stuttered and stumbled, naming the wrong year, correcting himself, sounding rattled and addled. One of those horrible gaffes where “this great quote I want to use to wow you,” overtakes authenticity, and thereby sinks the speaker
It was peculiar too, that in a pack of men, wherein each one professed to be ‘a stand out’ candidate in the GOP nomination race, each one saying in their own way, “I’m the one, I’m the man, the only candidate who is different from all the rest…” all the men were dressed identically…
All were dressed in mourning suits of black and darkest blue, all with moderate lapels. Shirts white and palest blue with short collar points. Their haircuts, all as though cut using the same shallow bowl. Gestures, the same… though the seasoned politicians’ gestures were graceful and relevant to the words being spoken… other men’s gestures seemed fresh from the ‘animated speaking gestures’ course at Dale Carnegie.
The only things to differentiate one man from the next man, were their neckties. Read the rest of this entry »