On the Foul Line with the Chamber of Commerce by Michael Winship I may be one of the only Manhattan residents not disappointed with LeBron James’ televised announcement that, “This fall, I’m going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat.” You see, when the basketball superstar was contemplating signing with the New York Knicks last week, he came house hunting in...

You might remember that in 2004 the Republican Congress gave a willing Bush administration FCC the power to fine TV stations for individual indecent “fleeting expletives” — profanities that get out on the airwaves before they can be bleeped. Fox was fined for Cher dropping the f-bomb during the 2002 Billboard Music Awards, and NBC for Bono doing the same at the 2003 Golden Globes. Janet Jackson’s...

Here are the top 10 most obnoxious political, media and cultural phrases: 1. “A defining moment…” A phrase as cringe worthy as chalk scratching a blackboard. So who determines a “defining” – pivotal — moment? Once upon a time it was a great historian or newspaper pundit. Today the phrase is trotted out by anyone who feels self-important. 2. “Tried to change the subject…” Translation:...

David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star This copyrighted cartoon is licensed to appear on TMV. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited. All rights reserved.

New segments of audio tapes purportedly featuring Mel Gibson ranting against Oksana Grigorieva, mother of his eight-year-old daughter’ have been released via an exclusive on Radaronline and there are two things that must be said about them: 1. The tapes indicate that for Gibson the hits just keep on coming. Or, rather, the tapes indicate for Grigorieva that the hits apparently did come from Gibson —...

Judging by the articles we have translated from the Swiss press today, there is little but pride in Switzerland over today’s decision to reject America’s extradition request for Roman Polanski, and setting the film director free. Arguing that the Americans failed to provide the needed documentation, this editorial from Switzerland’s 24 Heures by Chief Editor Thierry Meyer praises the decision...

Early today, after over a year of deliberations, Swiss authorities announced that they are rejecting an American request to extradite film director Roman Polanski, who has spent decades evading U.S. justice. According to columnist Francois Modoux of Switzerland’s Le Temps, the decision was not only just – it was absolutely necessary to safeguard Swiss sovereignty and the rights of Swiss citizens. For...

Aislin, The Montreal Gazette This copyrighted cartoon is licensed to run on TMV. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited. All rights reserved. UPDATES by JG: In case you missed it, here’s an ABC News report that fills you in: Update II: University of Virginia political scientist Larry Sabato on Twitter: Does anyone know how I can hire Paul the Octopus for UVA’s Crystal Ball? Will sweeten the deal...

It is not that the German psychic octopus has been turned into a recipe, or that he has met some other tragic fate. No, according to the New York Times, the famous cephalopod who correctly predicted “the outcome of as many World Cup matches as he has legs — all seven of Germany’s games plus the Spain-Netherlands final — is going to retire.” According to a spokeswoman for the Sea Life...

To those who felt director Roman Polanski had escaped justice when he fled the United States to escape charges of having unlaw sex with a minor, the news will be bitter: Switzerland has nixed U.S. requests to extradite Polanski to the United States for sentencing, with the official announcing the news declaring him a “free man.”: Switzerland will not extradite the film director Roman Polanski to...

Peter Broelman, Australia This copyrighted cartoon is licensed to run on TMV. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited. All rights reserved.

Secrets are not what they used to be. The nation’s greatest storyteller has made us wait 100 years to find out what was in his heart, but LeBron James spilled the beans on a TV special after only weeks of teasing our interest in an era when everyone from Elizabeth Edwards to Levi Johnston is sharing. Isn’t it better this way? Mark Twain’s reticence recalls that memorable Jack Nicholson line...

King James Version by Peter Funt MIAMI – In his first satellite interview with a female network correspondent from an evening newscast not employed by a cable company, basketball superstar LeBron James today disclosed why he chose to play next season for the Miami Heat. “At the Cleveland airport I saw a headline that said RECORD HEAT,” James told Katie Couric. “I assumed they were talking...

Nate Beeler, The Washington Examiner This copyrighted cartoon is licensed to run on TMV. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited. All rights reserved.

When it rains it pours for Mel Gibson — and we don’t mean in his use of racist words when talking about Jews or African-Americans. Amid a host of p.r. and legal problems, Gibson has now been dumped by a major Hollywood agent: Add another log to the Mel Gibson inferno. A spokesman for the William Morris Endeavor agency confirmed Friday that the embattled actor is no longer a client. The decision...

I promised that I would not write anymore about Paul the clairvoyant octopus, unless… Well, the “unless” has just happened. But first some other “breaking news.” This “breaking story” is about a psychic Singaporean parakeet. CBS News has just published the news that Mani, a World-Cup-forecasting parakeet–not to be outdone by Paul–has predicted that the Netherlands will win the World...

So how the ceaselessly-hyped LeBron James announcement look on ESPN last night? Time Magazine’s Sean Gregory says James looked “miserable,” with “tortured body language,” as he announced he was jumping ship to Miami in a 70-minute “special” — and notes the consequences of this move. UPDATE: The Atlantic’s Joshua Green thinks James’ move helps the Tea...

Jon nails it on the transformation of Arizona John McCain in this bit where he also takes potshots at Fox News and Arizona’s controversial immigration law. ADVISORY: Adult word at end: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c

World Cup Frenzyless Raging Moderate, by Will Durst Now let me get this straight. The World Cup is the most exciting sporting event on the face of the planet, right? Okay, then. What’s second place — the New England Spinsters Knitting Circle Seniors Tour? Which would make Supermodels Filling In Crossword Puzzles With Leaky Ink Pens a close third. Let’s not forget those scintillating Midnight Coastal...

RJ Matson, The St. Louis Post Dispatch This copyrighted cartoon is licensed to run on TMV. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited. All rights reserved.

As India gets increasingly trumpted overseas as an “almost” superpower, the sensitivity of some people from this big Asian country who have now settled abroad has risen in a seemingly direct proportion. So when Joel Stein wrote a recent humor column “My Own Private India”, the Time magazine had to print an apology to assuage the “hurt” among some readers, and explained that “it...

The latest You Tube sensation: Israeli Soldiers Dancing ft. Kesha – TICK TOCK (Rock the Casba in Hebron):

As one can imagine, those who predict, and place odds and bets on the World Cup semifinals and final winners are extremely busy these days. Serious fans and serious gamblers anxiously seek and mull and use the predictions and odds provided by reputable and not-so-reputable experts, odds makers and bookmakers. Millions–probably billions–will be won and lost by the time the last goal of the 2010 World...

In going through some classic comedy on this July 4th holiday, I watched the classic Abbott & Costello routine below and realized: it sounds like political discussion in America today. When this skit was popular (the 40s and in this version from the early 1950s TV show) it was outrageous. Now it sounds almost like the way partisans, politicians, talk show hosts, etc. talk about politics. Judge for yourself: This...

Vampire Nation by Will Durst Taking a breather from our Gulf Coast miasma in order to focus on an even ghastlier blight of cultural crude washing up on American shores. No, this is not about Lady Gaga. Although, I do intend to address walking parasites. Demon fiends. Bloodsucking vermin. The Ushers at the Gates of Hell themselves, of which we are experiencing a veritable glut, and I’m here to say that my...