Buh Bye Bannon (Cartoon and Column)
If there is one thing we know about Republicans it’s that they will sell out their principles and everything they believe in to get what they want.
Michael Wolff’s book Fire and Fury has Washington in a tizzy, but we already knew Republicans in Congress, and even those in the Trump administration, believe the president isn’t fit for the job. Every reporter who covers the capitol has been told off-the-record by Republicans that Donald Trump is a maladjusted racist, xenophobic lunatic. But, they can work with that as long as the lunatic signs what they put on his desk.
Utah’s Jason Chaffetz said he couldn’t vote for Trump because he’d have to explain it to his daughter. Then that guy endorsed and voted for Trump, and I never heard how he explained it to his daughter. Ted Cruz said Trump was a sniveling coward for making fun of his wife’s looks, and then he has his daughters doing the Oval Office photo-op with the guy. Maybe if his wife was prettier then he wouldn’t have sold her out so easily. Lindsey Graham said Trump was racist and xenophobic and now he’s helping him deflect the Russia investigation.
Once upon a time, defending our nation from Russia was a part of the Republican platform. Now, these bastards will sell out their nation and kill investigations into Russia meddling in our election and colluding with the Trump campaign.
It’s the most despicable, racist, xenophobic lot of them that will eat each other when the going gets tough. Steve Bannon was the scariest Republican in the country last week. This week, he’s been banished from Republican Haterville because of bad things he said about Trump’s children, even though everything he said is actually true.
Ivanka is a dumb–s, as her “TIMESUP” tweet yesterday perfectly illustrates. Don Jr did commit a treasonous act by meeting Russian agents in Trump Tower for dirt on Hillary. “Javanka” is an awesome nickname for Ivanka and her creepy husband, Jared, though they probably think it’s the capital of Indonesia.
Bannon is a perfect example of a narcissist selling out his principles. He isn’t denying his comments nor is he apologizing for them. Instead, he claims he wasn’t talking about Don Jr. when he called him “treasonous.” That is a lie as he was most definitely talking about Don Jr. He claims he was talking about Paul Manafort but how is Manafort a traitor while “Fredo,” Bannon’s nickname for Junior, isn’t? You either stand by your comments or you apologize. It’s either one or the other and not some lame-ass middle ground which Bannon is trying to take. He would have done better if he said that he meant “treasonous” in the good way.
Now, Bannon is out at Breitbart. Why? Because the moneybags propping up that bastion of white nationalism told them to kick him to the curb, feed him to the wolves, throw him under the bus, etc. These people will eat their own when the going gets tough.
Trump’s propaganda minister Stephen Miller was once thought of as Bannon’s ally on kicking Muslims and Mexicans out of the country and everything else related to white nationalism. Last Sunday, Baby Goebbels went on CNN and while making a huge ass out of himself to Jake Tapper said Bannon was an “angry, vindictive person” whose “grotesque comments are so out of touch with reality.” Miller, showing us all how in touch with reality he is, went on to describe Trump as a political genius. If you saw that exchange like I did, you too needed a shower afterward.
Without Trump or Breitbart, Bannon will find it difficult to fulfill his pledge of ousting Senate Majority Leader and stand-in for turtles Mitch McConnell. After endorsing a pedophile and multiples felons for Congress, the only person Bannon could screw out of a job was himself. How bad do you have to be for Breitbart not to want you anymore? It seems making unkind remarks toward Junior and Javanka is worse than endorsing pedophiles.
Now Breitbart is seeking a new director for its hate campaign. Breitbart is not a news outlet. When the wingnuts in your life defend the publication as a counter to the “lame-stream media,” smack them upside their heads. Breitbart is not a counterweight to news. News presents facts. You may not like the facts. Maybe you have a legitimate beef that at times a news outlet will spend too much time with some facts and not enough with others. But facts are still facts. How do you run a campaign against facts? You use propaganda…which is often referred to as bulls–t.
Have you ever read the comments underneath a Breitbart story? If your answer is no, good. Don’t go there. It’s a hotbed for racist and Breitbart has never tried to dissuade hate goons from lounging in their house. Breitbart attracts the same readership as The Daily Stormer, which is a Nazi website. Fun stuff.
The only problem with these people eating their own is what comes out later.
Creative notes: There are some things I have to look up every time I draw them, no matter how many times I’ve done it in the past or even how recently. I always look up the American flag to make sure I have the order of the stripes correct (red on top and bottom, and first strip under the field of blue is white). I always look up the Confederate flag because I get paranoid about where the red and blue is placed, which is stupid because I used to live in Mississippi, and that thing was everywhere.
Sometimes as I’m researching I go down internet wormholes, which helps me waste time and procrastinate while working. It’s not always hard work that makes me spend six hours on a cartoon. But while surfing the Klan logo today (for the 987th time), I found a story about a sweet old lady who makes custom robes by hand for Klansmen. Before she ships them off to their wizard, poobah, or cyclop, she blesses each and every one of them. Well, won’t somebody bless her? There was a really nice photo of children wearing her handiwork.
Sometimes, I like to be reminded that there are some seriously f—– up people out there.
Email Clay Jones at [email protected]