I just received an e-mail from a friend that is just too good and too cute not to be posted on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
It is about a low-fare, 737-carrier based South African airline that tries not to take itself too seriously—something most of us should emulate.
According to the e-mail and a related article:
The airline started in 2001 and recently took delivery of a new 737-800 with an unusual paint scheme.
Dubbed “Flying 101” it isn’t the typical Kulula logo-jet.
Someone there clearly has a sense of humor. The entire airplane is covered with details about the plane, including arrows pointing to the more interesting parts.
“The big cheese” describes the captain’s window. An arrow points to the aircraft’s registration, calling it the “Secret code.”
Even the lav is pointed out, with the description, “Loo (or mile-high initiation chamber).”
The black box, seats, stabilizer and rudder are also pointed out and include a bit of clever commentary as well.
Please click here to see some of the hilarious markings on this “Flying 101,” and make sure to read some of the “alleged” (?) announcements made by Kulula flight attendants (Enjoy!):
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where
you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing,
when a flight attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”
—o0o—
On another flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot
said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be
turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance
the appearance of your flight attendants.”
—-o0o—
“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out
of this airplane.”
—o0o—
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”
—o0o—
“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend
from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your
face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask
before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one
small child, pick your favourite.”
—o0o—
Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing:
“We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
—o0o—
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?” “Why, no Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land, or were we shot down?”
—o0o—
Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank
you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the
insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal
tube, we hope you’ll think of Kulula Airways.”
—o0o—
Heard on a Kulula flight. “Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke,
the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light
’em, you can smoke ’em.”
—o0o—
A plane was taking off from Durban Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.
Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax… OH, MY GOODNESS!” Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!” A passenger then yelled, “That’s nothing. You should see the back of mine!”
Image: Courtesy Gadling. com
The author is a retired U.S. Air Force officer and a writer.