It’s been a long year. One year ago on Saturday the 18th of January will be the one year anniversary of my Mother’s passing. As some of you know I was her 24/7 caregiver during the last few years. It was a sacrifice to be sure but worth it. She passed away peacefully in her own house which is what she wanted. The last three months I did have some help in the form of caregivers who came in five hours a day and the wonderful people from Providence Home Hospice.
It has been a long year – estate issues are never easy. I spent the first few months clearing out years of memories. Two drop boxes and shredding over 20 years of paper work – she had not thrown away anything. In May I moved out of the house and put it up for sale. My move was complicated because I fell and broke my collar bone a week before the move. We finally sold the house in November after spending over $12,000 in upgrades.
My friend Doug Mataconis lost his father last weekend. One of his posts on Facebook he noted how empty his father’s house seemed. I could really identify with that. The house went from a place of constant activity – caregivers and home hospice, to a quiet house with an empty hospital bed in the living room. It may sound strange but I think I had done most of my grieving before she passed away – according to the home hospice people a common reaction. But I missed my support people like the caregivers who had literally become part of my family.
In a sense my Mother’s passing was like losing a job. My job had been taking care of her but since I was 67 I was not going to find another job so I had to find another way to reinvent myself. I’m still working on that.