“Thank You For Your Service”
This is one of those personal stories which touches on a subject which, unfortunately, we too often forget except on Veterans Day. Yesterday I wound up on a fourteen hour road trip to a couple of campaign events for this year’s congressional race taking place in two towns along the Hudson Valley in New York. We were meeting with a number of state and county Republican Party leaders as well as a number of supporters. One of the topics of discussion for the day was management of federal and state spending for veterans’ programs.
As the day wore on we spoke to a number of people, many of whom asked questions or related their own background and stories. In the course of these talks, I inevitably wound up mentioning that I myself am a veteran and telling of a few of my own (generally positive) experiences with programs available to vets. There was one common response which really stuck with me and is still on my mind today.
Upon hearing that I was a veteran, roughly one dozen times the people I met would stop, smile, reach out to shake my hand a second time and say, “Thank you for your service.” And I should be very clear here… these were almost entirely private, one on one discussions taking place in a rather hectic mixer environment, with no cameras or microphones around, and no one to see or record the event. It was just a brief moment shared between two people. I have to admit, I left both of the events smiling with a much improved outlook.
It’s such a small, simple gesture for anyone, but something which too frequently gets forgotten except on national holidays. But it really does mean a lot and it’s quite a refreshing change from the way things were when I was a young man. So if you meet a veteran, don’t be embarrassed. Take a moment, shake their hand and just say, “Thank you.” It means a lot and costs you nothing at all.
29 Responses to ““Thank You For Your Service””
Frankly, as a Viet Nam vet, I find that generally “Thank you for your service” is a totally meaningless expression. It gets offered most often by people my age who avoided any sort of service back when it counted.
Sorry, but I am not at all convinced that most of these people mean anything other than “thanks for going instead of me, sucker.”
Well thank you for your service anyway.
“Thank you for your service” is nice to hear once in a while ; but I have to agree it has become one of those sayings like “Have a nice day”.
I'd like to add to Mr. Brandon's observation: people who avoided any sort of service when it counted may sometimes be found lining up to buy “war surplus” clothing and equipment.
Yeah I get the same feeling. I feel uneasy because I just don't think they mean it. Now if bankers were writing me big checks and women were offering me sex I could believe it. But unfortunately…nothing.
If the bankers gave you the big checks first, maybe, maybe you could get the other, but I doubt it.
I find it patronizing. I don't need to be thanked for doing my job.
Duck opinions are like duck pooters……only ducks have them and they all stink.
Proud of you, FT. I had go to the ducktionary to find your latest. I guess since all that money can't buy babes, it's good for barbs.
I'm a Vietnam era vet. I never came close to combat and, as an ensign, I never served on a ship. However, of all the people I know, I am one of very few who did wear the uniform. The fact that I didn't serve in combat was mainly a matter of dumb luck and some opinions I held about the war. Understand that if I had been sent into combat, I would have gone, irrespective of my views on the war. I'm not now and have never been a pacifist. In spite of being a lefty.
I completely disagree with Bill Brandon. The times that people have said “Thanks for your service.” have always been private. And, a little embarrassing. But, in spite of my embarrassment, I do appreciate the gesture.
Sir,
I am a member of the Michigan Patriot Guard Riders. I also have family members and friends who have served. I appreciate all that you have done for me. I'd like to say that I believe when most people say thank you for your service or Thank You, we truely mean it.
Thank you.
Hi Michigan Patriot Guard Lorieby. When I did a story for TMV on the Patriot Guard that protected vets' family's during their son's and daughter's funerals… from the self-proclaimed “Baptist,” pastor, Fred Phelps and his family who protest veteran's funerals with outrageous disrespect… the Guard guys I interviewed– who also organized Gold Star Mother rides–couldnt have been more noble or brave. A blessing on all your heads. Go fast, be safe.
a sister rider,
dr.e
Nice piece, Jazz. One thing I have noticed at TMV–and for which I am proud–is how readers, no matter how much they disagree politically or otherwise with other readers or with our contributors, will usually (FT, please note, I am not saying “always”) thank veterans for their service, when such service becomes known
Thank you for your service, Jazz
Dorian
Yeah and you didn't say “Spearhead and take the lead as Usual”….
Which is good. Very very good.
Thanks Bill, this subject seems to come up a lot here at TMV and most of the time the patriotism wins out, or the ex military wins out, and it is generally agreed upon in advance that to serve is necessarily some honorable thing. But it breaks my heart beyond the general cordiality the degree to which are soldiers are used and abused. My father was a Naval lifer and my brother can't get the blood out of his hair from Vietnam or get the military to pay for his hospital bills when his wounds reopen. (Yea it is a long and complicated story) . I think a lot of lives are broken in half in the military, and not always for very good reasons. Though it is today a voluntary force the reasons why people join are anything but, and the reason why they can't leave when their countdown ends (stop loss) is anything but voluntary. I suppose for some it provides that ritual that forces us to grow up in a hurry, starting up with some mistaken idea about patriotism, full of that “yankee doodlely dum,” As well the notion that they do it for us, for society, for America, may well be where some start, but not for me. If you want to do something for me, don't go. Join your local chapter of Vets against war (pick your war their are vet represented from all of them)…….and they do protest about the wars, their meaning, and the price of it all– for all of us. It is difficult if I am against the common purpose of the military, then it is difficult to feel good toward the youth who are forced to carry it out, some blindly, some because they feel powerless, and some because they can't get out of it. Some run away. Some kill themselves before, during, and after. It is much more deeply nuanced then it might first appear. So I just wanted to say that the reasons why people say thanks to a soldier can be quite nuanced and the reaction of the soldier can be just as nuanced, but certainly not always well intended or responded to.
Spirasol:
I am very sorry to hear about your brother. I don't know if I can help in any way, but if you wish to send me some details privately (You can send them through “Contact Us” at TMV,) I can see if there is any way he can get some help.
As one who has served without having experienced any ill-effects (that I know of), it seems especially fiiting for me to tell those who have experienced problems—in whatever way—a very sincere “Thank you for your service.”
Dorian
It's not just a job spirasol, it's service. Service means quit a bit more than a job. If you are truly ready to give your life, all the other things are lesser sacrifices, your wealth, your health, family life, your sanity. Most people don't realize what military service really means before they sign their life away, because it means just that, signing your life away. The reasons why you would do this remains your own. Hopefully you have worked out your reasons before or can work out your reasons early in your service. However it is my firm belief, that every human being needs a cause worth sacrificing something for, and, the more that cause means to you, the more you are willing to sacrifice for it. If you can find your cause to serve and can find the means and opportunity to serve it, your life takes on meaning. It gives you courage and purpose.
For me, my time in the military, and, later performing relief work in conflict regions made me feel like I was living more life in a day than I ever did in a month. The danger worrying but stimulating. The knowledge learned, places seen, experiences good and bad all made me feel tested, privileged. With every success came three times the self esteem, every loss profound, sacred, teaching. You learn to put your fear in a box for the cause and use it as the tool that nature intended, rather than let it control you. With your fear locked up, amazingly you find that you have the freedom to use your mind to make judgments, rather than emotion. Living like this is an emancipating existence spirasol.
The soldier. The war correspondent. The cop. The relief worker. The missionary. The fireman. The doctor. The rescue technician. The lifeguard. Just having been something like this is a personal accomplishment most people never experience at all. Yes I have bad memories too. On rare occasion they have tested my cool. I see it as a human psychological response to trauma, but I also believe that every human has the capacity to control it. Especially with some intelligent help.
Those are very poignant words and thoughts, FT. Thank you.
My brother has had the help of many well meaning lawyers, judges, officers,Doctors, and his tour buddies, etc. over the coarse of 30 years. It never goes anywhere. He “served” 3 of his 4 years as a Marine before being wounded in Vietnam. He then took off his uniform and refused to put it back on. His direct action approach to dealing with the war, led to a year in the brig and a dishonorable discharge with no benefits for the rest of his life. In an angled kind of way I thank him for the service he provided to those whom might use him as a roll model. My bro is complex and knows the difference between a superficial and a complex exchange– still I ask if you came across him on your way to somewhere else…..how do you think he might respond to such a tribute? By extension, it is not just about my brother, but thousands like him.
FT: You have written respectfully, so I will try to do the same. I'm not sure where you get emphasis on “job” from my post? It is a life transforming period of time some of whom can hardly recall their service later on, some for whom it takes over their life, and others who experience it as a pact with the devil they can't shake off. I am not a young man FT. And I know something of SEVA (Buddhist word for service). I have dedicated my life as a form of service in helping others through their difficult times. Call me a helper, a social worker, a psychotherapist, a volunteer in the soup kitchen, etc. It has not been a financially enriching, but otherwise incredibly so. You don't have to be in Haiti or in a war to help another one to one trapped in their very own little fox hole or hiding under a bridge or numb with alcohol poisoning. There are many ways to serve, other than the military. I don't begrudge you your experience and I do get you are a member of the larger group who wants to honor such things. All I'm saying is that if you turn over the rock you will see it is much more complex than might appear, and that not all welcome the acknowledgment. It is also fine if you disagree. On this website you will find yourself in plenty of company and I will try to respectfully make my point alone. There are other places though where the opinion of the majority here would be in the minority.
When did this “honor the troops no matter what” stuff surface? After Viet right? There was so much written about the people not supporting the war……..and by extension, the warriors. And some of that might be true. I have read elsewhere though, that the crucial turning point in the war was when the soldiers themselves turned against the war. Remember “colonel Kurtz” — war gone mad, yes a fictional character but iconic of the confusion of the time. Rolling grenades into the tents of disliked CO's, going rouge, collecting heads or testacles, killing civilians and farmers for fun, etc. etc.
I think of this exchange between a civilian and a war vet as necessarily superficial, as they don't know each other, and if they could see into the other, they might not like what they see.
spirasol filled with helping others? then why all the bitterness and anger at nearly every article you post at. I served. Dont think you did. There's a brotherhood that understands service in military. They stick, even though they might disagree on some things. We have a saying for those who didnt serve but have lots of opinions about how we all should feel and think. I wont repeat it. The point is, they werent in the fields or the caves or the tunnels. We were. We also have a name forguys who didnt serve and should have. I wont repeat that either. You're not the lone little man soldiering on at tmv against the military men here who served, spirasol. Yours is a common opinion held by millions of others who werent on the inside. We've heard what you and the echo have to say ad nauseum.
Service to community is very important. I certainly thank people whom do this work. However there is a different level of service in that which routinely risks your life over that which does not. You could probably be killed by a crazed alcoholic and that requires courage to live with. You know, we never see and end to that which we fight. In relief work, domestic of abroad, we never defeat the enemy. Yet we never stop fighting.
Sorry about your brother but I cannot discern from your comments whether your brother’s life has been destroyed on political principal or because of mental illness.
Ho Ho….
Nobody knows what’s in the heart of others and EVERYBODY has right to express their opinion. That’s what I fought for, I don't know about you.
Spirasol:
I have thought long and hard about how to respond to your comments, and it seems to me that no matter how I respond, my comments may not be accepted by you as sincere and well-meaning.
Well here they go.
First, thank you for providing a few details, publicly, about your brother. You didn’t have to do this, thus it’s appreciated.
If I understand the circumstances correctly, your brother—for whatever reasons—decided not to serve out his military commitment. I will be the last one to condemn him without knowing all the circumstances. But I hope that the military justice system did consider all the facts and circumstances and acted in a correct and just manner. If the military justice system didn’t mete out justice, I hope that his lawyers and judges who are involved in his case will be able to bring a satisfactory end to what you call a “long and complicated story.”
With respect to thanking those who have served, let me first tell you—and you may call me old-fashioned, stupid, naïve or whatever—that I believe in patriotism, honor, serving our country. That does not mean that I believe or support every war that comes along. God knows how much I have protested the Iraq invasion and occupation. But, by God, I honor and support those who have served in that war, as I honor and respect those who have served in the Vietnam war and other wars. And I will always thank them for their service, for whatever reason they did so. Yes, I understand that some do it for economic reasons, some do it “to stay out of the brig,” some “because they feel powerless,” “some because they can't get out of it,” etc.
But those who serve, nevertheless, especially when our country is at war, face the same risks, make the same sacrifices, face the same rigors, face the same bullets and IEDs (and many of them make the ultimate sacrifice) as their gung-ho buddies who have volunteered for patriotic reasons. And, because of that, I will thank even those young men and women for their service.
Yes, there are some who refuse to serve because of religious reasons, or “matters of conscience.” I will not attack them, especially when they are willing to pay the price our society demands for such actions and protests. But I firmly believe that the vast majority of our young men and women who serve do so willingly and knowing the risks—and the rewards.
Whenever I meet a person who has served (or have the opportunity on these comments boards), I will continue to thank him or her for his or her service, and am willing to take my chances with the “nuances,” or the reaction that I may get.
In that spirit I, again, thank your brother for his service and wish him well.
I agree with you DER, it's hard to make a sensible comment about something that you personally have not experienced. I hesitate to comment on some topics for that reason. I would, however, say that I silently thank all those that potentially put their lives on the line, have dangerous or mind numbing occupations, dedicate themselves to a cause, all for the rest of us. As FT, has stated the military people in combat, and others in roles that put them in constant threat of losing their lives, have a more focused appreciation of life. As a lucky duck (although I was in the brown boot army, but out of harm's way), I still “appreciate all their service”.
“Brown boot army” or other services, you and them all deserve our thanks
Dorian
Thanks anyway, but not me, I never left NJ, and rode on the backs of all those I mentioned.
Just out of curiosity, what is the “brown boot army”?
The switch to from brown to black boots, shoes & holsters etc began in late 1956 in progressed through early 1957. Brown shoes and boots were still being issued into the late 50's and soldiers had to buy black dye at the PX and dye them.
That's what I thought: you were in the Army. That's why I thanked you for your service.