Lame Questions for Alberto Gonzales. Cheesy, Whiny Answers

I enjoy Deborah Solomon’s weekly interviews (“Questions For…”) in The New York Times Magazine, a column that has appeared in the Times’ weekend magazine since 2003.

Although her interview techniques and the published results of her interviews have come under fire, I find them interesting and generally learn something from them.

Sadly, I could not say the same about her “Questions for Alberto Gonzales” this weekend.

The questions and answers were lame, whiny, and cheesy and, as my local newspaper editor often says about my writings, “pedestrian.”

But in defense of Solomon, what can you do with a person who is lame, whiney, cheesy, and not entirely forthcoming?

As we all know, the former Bush attorney general, who resigned in disgrace nearly two years ago, will be teaching political science at Texas Tech this fall.

Without any further ado, here are some of the questions, and answers. I’ll save the first question for the end.

First, the real controversial questions (I’ll skip the answers):

It has been two summers since you resigned, and you’re still living in Virginia?

When does school begin?

Then,

Q. You’re scheduled to teach a political-science class called “Contemporary Issues in the Executive Branch.” What kind of syllabus have you put together?

A. You mean what am I going to be teaching? We’re obviously going to look at the issues that are confronting this administration. I’m going to try to get the students a behind-the-scenes look at how the White House is really organized and how it operates.

Careful, Mr. Gonzales. Remember you are still under investigation. If I were you I would think twice about divulging to your students how the Bush White House was “really organized and how it [operated.]”

Talking about investigations, the next question addresses that subject.

Q. Some 70 professors at Texas Tech have signed a petition that protests your appointment and cites your “ethical failings,” including misleading Congress about the firing of nine federal prosecutors. What will you tell your students about that?

A. All the inspector-general investigations, they’re now over with. They found that I had not engaged in any criminal wrongdoing.

But wait; there is still that pesky special prosecutor investigation. Solomon catches that one.

Q. Isn’t there still an ongoing investigation by a special prosecutor who was appointed last year to look into the removal of the attorneys?

A. I wish I could comment on that, but because it’s an ongoing investigation, I cannot.

Good answer, Mr. Gonzales. We all know how much you wish you could comment on it.

These were the cheesy ones. Now come the whiney ones, although the former attorney general doesn’t “want to sound like [he is] whining”:

Q. Would you agree that your reputation was damaged by your service as attorney general?

A. It has had an effect, a negative effect, no question about it, and at times it makes me angry because it is undeserved. But I don’t want to sound like I am whining. At the end of the day, I’ve been the attorney general of the United States. It’s a remarkable privilege, and I stand behind my service.

Q. Has any law firm offered you a job since you left the White House?

A. Listen, I’ve had some interest and I’ve had some discussions, but there has been no offer made. In a tough economic climate, I can understand why a company or a firm would want to make sure that the investigations are complete and there is no finding of wrongdoing before they make a hiring decision.

Ah, those pesky investigations again. They just won’t go away!

As for the “dollars and cents” issues, Solomon asks whether Gonzales has asked Bush to “defray” his legal bills. When his answer is no, “not personally,” she persists: “I think you should ask them. They got you into this pickle. Shouldn’t they help get you out?”

To which Gonzales admits that he does have a group of supporters who are helping him fund-raise…

And what I feel is the most relevant, perhaps the only relevant question:

Q. Why, exactly, did you suddenly resign as attorney general?

A. I’m in the process of writing a book, and I’ll get into greater detail on some of those reasons.

I guess we’ll have to wait for the book and pay for it to find out, or wait for the results of those pesky investigations—whatever comes first.

The results of the investigations, however, may come first because Gonzales doesn’t have a publisher for his book yet.

Solomon also asks Gonzales if he still talks to President Bush. Gonzales says he hasn’t talked to Bush since the president left office, but that he does think about their time together: “There are times when I think about [picking up the phone]. But listen, I know that he has his life to live. I’ve got challenges and my life to live as well.”

But now that Gonzales will be teaching “just down the Texas road” from where his former boss is living, I am sure that the former president will drop by to visit his old friend; perhaps he could audit one of Gonzales’ classes on “how the White House is really organized and how it operates.” As they say, it’s never too late to learn.

I mentioned that I would keep the first question for last.

Solomon opens the (printed) interview with the question:

As the first Latino to have served as the attorney general, what are your thoughts as Sonia Sotomayor prepares to become the first Latina on the Supreme Court?

Gonzales answers, “This is obviously a proud and historic moment for all Hispanics.”

That is exactly how this Hispanic felt when Gonzales became the first Latino attorney general. How sad that this proud feeling didn’t last for very long.