Comments on: Multiple Cheers For Polygamy!

By: everynowandthen

everynowandthen — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 14:59:14 +0000

You seem to be closing in on the problem as I see it. Demonizing polygamy requires no particular genius, but neither does demonizing monogamy, using plenty of readily available real-world examples. Many of the issues are identical (i.e. gender politics) but where the issues are exclusive there are of course benefits and dangers under both models.

The book "The Importance of Being Monogamous - Marriage and Nation Building in Western Canada to 1915" By Sarah Carter looks closely at the structural use of monogamy as a cornerstone of cultural domination by whites and looks comparatively at the position of women in polygamy v. in monogamy:
"There were no single mothers, and concepts such as ‘illegitimate’ children were unknown."

This idea has so much resonance with me. What I'm saying is I don't think "we" have it right either, and that there is a definite cost to those who find themselves on the rubbish heap produced under the current legalistic monogamy structure.

In my view, monogamy enforcement is about property, control and ownership, while polygamy could be about recognizing those non-nuclear family impulses and thinking bigger, for humanity's sake.

By: KNicoll

KNicoll — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 06:25:28 +0000

While there's a certain small amount of activism (typically US-centred, from what I've seen) from the segment of the polyamorous community that's interested in multiple marriage, I have come to the opinion that it's probably an exercise in futility right now. When simply suggesting that polygamy might be nice as an option is a felony in Michigan, navigating the complexities of marriage law to make them even more complicated is an implausibility.

The studies that have been made on the subject are extremely limited at best; a little psychology here, a little demographics there. (The demographic study I know of is hopelessly biased by being based on the demographics of the readership of one particularly crystal-waving free-love open relationships magazine.) On top of that, news coverage tends to be spun for titillation rather than information, and popular awareness is settled on exploitative polygynous religious models; those modern self-aware adults (to the extent that anyone is, and I'm having a cynical day) are dismissed as either fictional or too uncommon to be relevant.

But really, as to 'in the profoundly sexist regions of the world where it is currently practiced', I would amend that to 'commonly and publically practiced', as there are people living in multiple-spouse situations all over the world, though not, typically, with the benefits of legal marriage - which makes us hard to find and officially catalogue unless we post comments like this one.

By: THJ

THJ — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 06:15:56 +0000

Having just finished S02 of Big Love as well (like 30 minutes ago), I think you are on to something. The part I remember most about 1k Splendid Suns was the scene where one of the two (or maybe both, I don't recall) had just gotten a beating from the husband, and he told her 'there are thousands of women out there who would take your place in a heartbeat.' Kinda shows how brutal things really were over there under the Taliban (not that the Muj before them were much better).

Part of me sees Polygamy as a pragmatic/honorable practice - there are vast portions of the population of the world where the husband/wife is intimate with a third party (or fourth or fifth in some cases), but that's just an 'affair.' Polygamists actually have the cojones to carry through with it and make it legit, binding, and long lasting.

On the flip side though, there is so much potential for abuse (pimp marrying his 'hos' so that they can't be compelled to testify against him; Juniper Creek type cults, etc) that would turn a lot of voters off at the polls if even mentioned by a politician.