The Lesbian Bride’s Handbook

The publication of The Best American Essays 2008 includes Ariel Levy’s take “on her efforts to plan a party that accurately reflects her lifestyle (which she notes is ‘not black-tie!’) as she confronts head-on what it means to be married.”

It sent me right back to the original:

What is the right thing to wear to a wedding? Women have been asking themselves this question for generations and, I suppose, coming up with many of the same answers as I have. Black and gray, the colors I usually wear, are obviously too somber. Red is a bad idea: too garish, too iconic—the whore instead of the virgin—and, as a saleswoman at Saks explained to me, one doesn’t want to draw attention away from the bride. But then I am the bride. Sort of.

For several months, admitting that detail filled me with a flickering dread. I knew what would inevitably follow: “Why aren’t you wearing white?” Eventually, I realized that, obviously, I could just tell Katie at Barneys or Jen at Chloé, “Because I prefer color.” But at first, I felt compelled to tell the whole mortifying truth: “Because it’s a gay wedding.” Or, if I couldn’t quite get those words out of my mouth: “Because it’s not a real wedding.” [READ ON]

Photo credit: Thad Russell. Ariel Levy, right, and Amy Norquist on their wedding day in Bluemont, Virginia.