Blankity Blank Blanks (Guest Voice)
So who’s to blame for the economic mess that could greatly impact Presidential campaign 2008? The conventional news media wisdom is the bulk of the blame should go to the Republicans. In this Guest Voice post, humorist Tom Purcell says that the “blankity blank blank” Ds have played a role as well. Guest Voice posts do not necessarily represent the view of TMV or its writers.
Blankity Blank Blanks
By Tom Purcell
Boy, are my mother and father uncharacteristically agitated lately.
I made the mistake of visiting them while they watched the cable news. Democrat Sen. Chris Dodd was on the tube blaming the market collapse on President Bush. Father jumped out of his recliner and began barking at the TV.
“That is blankity blank blank blank!” said Father, shouting words I never heard him say before — words he never permitted in our Christian home.
Father complained that Dodd, and other Democrats in Congress, pressured lenders to originate subprime mortgages, then pressured Fannie and Freddie — government-sponsored organizations — to buy up packages of the risky mortgages.
“Lots of people are to blame, but Dodd and his friends helped kick off the mess we’re in,” shouted Father, “and now they’re benefiting in the polls from the economy they helped damage!”
There wasn’t much time to discuss the matter, however. An interview with Democrat House Leader Nancy Pelosi came on. She also blamed our current woes on Bush.
“That is blankity blank blank blank!” said my otherwise dear, sweet, classy, church-going mother. She said words I never heard her say before.
Mother cannot understand how the public would want such partisans running the White House, House and Senate.
“Pelosi wants to spend $300 billion on another stimulus package when the last one didn’t work!” said Mother. “Liberal Democrats are going to raise taxes and spend billions more on top of the trillion or more we’re already spending to bail out the financial institutions!”
There was little time to discuss Pelosi, however. Another Democrat congressman was on the tube explaining why taxpayers must bail out people who took on mortgages they cannot afford.
“That is blankity blank blank blank!” said Father, jumping out of his recliner again.
Father told me he and Mother spent their lives scrimping and saving and living within their means. He worked hours of overtime to meet his obligations. It makes no sense to him that the government will tax his tax contributions and give them to people who made bad decisions.
About then Joe the plumber popped up on the tube. His question to Obama prompted Obama to say that it’s OK to tax people some more to spread the wealth around.
“That idea is a bunch of blankity blank blank blank!” said Mother. “That sounds like socialism to me and haven’t we learned by now socialism doesn’t work!”
There was no time to mull over her argument, however. The next news report explained that the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, or ACORN, was accused of fraudulently registering voters.
“This group registered Mickey Mouse,” said Father, laughing now in a disturbing manner. “Every stolen vote disenfranchises someone else who plays by the rules. That’s just a bunch of blankity blank blank blank!”
Thankfully a commercial break came on the tube. I was unable to calm Mother and Father, however.
They told me why they’re so angry. They raised six children. They played by the rules. The America they know rewarded hard work and thrift, not stupidity and bad decisions.
They said they don’t want the government to tax oil companies more to send subsidy payments to people who buy gas. It’s not a subsidy. It’s a bribe!
They said it isn’t right for the government to take more from people who earn it and give it to people who don’t. It’s not a tax break. It’s a bribe!
They said it’s insanity to jack up capital gains taxes, especially when countries we are competing with — China, Singapore, Taiwan — have zero capital gains taxes, which are fueling massive investment and growth in those countries at the expense of ours.
They said they are frustrated that so many Americans are favoring politicians who will take us the wrong way — frustrated that the simple middle-class values upon which they lived their lives are under assault.
“It’s amazing that more people aren’t angry!” said Father.
The commercial break ended. Democrat Rep. Barney Frank popped onto the tube. He began blaming Bush for the financial meltdown. Mother had but one thing to say to that:
“That is blankity blank blank blank!”
©2008 Tom Purcell. Tom is a humor columnist nationally syndicated exclusively by Cagle Cartoons.
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6 Responses to “Blankity Blank Blanks (Guest Voice)”
My hope as a conservative Republican is that the Democrats gain a veto proof, cloture proof majority and that they can blame NOTHING on the GOP. That they are given the keys to the store, that the government is in their hands with no excuses. That Iraq and Afghanistan is theres. That Exxon Mobile is theres. That Wall Street is theres.
That this entire country is in there hands with no one to blame but themselves IF or WHEN something goes wrong. Then. Let them go to work. Let them do what it is they feel they must do and then let America judge once and for all if they want what the Democrats and more specifically the progressive far left democrats want to give us.
Let America Decide. Its time to put this bickering to rest. Its time for the Democrats to put up and SHUT UP.
Greenschemes…
Coincidentally, I have been thinking the exact same thing today. A Democratic executive, and cloture proof Democratic legislative branch, would put all the responsibility for government in Democratic hands.
For the first year or two they will blame the Republicans for leaving them a mess. But eventually this will no longer wash with the public, and Democrats will be compelled to accept responsibility for government.
What will the Democrats do about Kyoto? Will they impose carbon taxes, or new emissions requirements on smokestack industries . . . with all their lobbyists, backed by big unions? This would earn them the plaudits of the international environmentalists, and ensure no Democrat is elected in the industrial heartland for a generation. Today they can blame all evils on Bush, and reap the benefit from both unions and environmentalists.
What will the Democrats do about Afghanistan and Petraeus? MoveOn infamously and very publicly declared that Petraeus betrayed the United States of America, and they are a major supporter of the Democrats. The leaders of MoveOn were also opposed to intervention in Afghanistan from the start, and initiated a petition to that effect. Will Obama sack Petraeus? How will Obama's stated policy to increase troops in Afghanistan go down with Code Pink and the anti-war Left?
If Obama is elected, I sincerely wish him the best. But if the Democrats have all the power, even better. There may be some good policies, and some bad.
But at least they will have to accept the responsibility they have managed to evade . . . as famously with Freddie and Fannie Mac, at the roots of the credit foreclosure debacle and virtual Democratic fiefdoms . . . for years.
Even better . . . when the Democrats hold all the keys to the kingdom, what will the MSM do?
I recall, I believe it was in Mike McCurry's book on serving in the Clinton Administration, how the Clintons initially believed they would have a free ride as they were good friends with so many like-minded people in the press corps.
But the Clintons became the only game in town in 1993, and within weeks the press corps started to criticize. The Clintons felt utterly betrayed.
Will the White House press corps be as deferential to President Obama as they have been to candidate Obama?
Or will the media become the Pravda of Democratic Washington? What will the New York Time have to report on then, after all? I await the Grey Lady's breathless front page, above the fold stories on the decade-old divorces of freshmen GOP Congressmen….
There are certain cues in some articles that let me know to ignore them because they are written by the partisans who are wholly lost to reason. Two are contained in this post. First, crying about ACORN (thanks for the unanimous ruling in favor of common sense and democracy supreme court). Second, “Joe the plumber”. I hope future guest voice segments are a bit more serious in nature.
Christopher “Countrywide” Dodd already had demonstrated himself to be an abject failure when, after the 1994 elections, he was at the forefront with the “extreme” and “extremist” lies and slander. He behaved at the time as if he were paid by the factor of outrageous statements multiplied by the decibel level.
Let them trade higher, even voracious, taxes against buy-a-vote spending reductions once they've gotten past the easy steps like gutting the military.