The 12-Step Bush Recovery Program

• Do you think that after eight years of George W. Bush this country is in good shape?
• Do you feel the U.S. Constitution has too many Amendments?
• Do you often dream of George Bush in a flight suit?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, it’s time to seek help.

And Gene Stone’s new book, The 12 Step Bush Recovery Program, is a vital guide to post-Bush era wellness that’s coming out just in time!

My old colleagues Carl Pritzkat and Tony Travostino worked with Gene on the book. I asked them to walk me through the program. We started with the Political Tranquility Prayer:

Founding fathers grant me…
The courage to work for change
The wisdom to separate church and state
Living one day at a time
Voting as often as I can

Read on for the 12 steps of the Bush Recovery Program…

1.  Acknowledge The Problem — “Where were you these last eight years? Do you even remember? Probably not. It’s all a haze, a fog of horribly hideous headlines, excruciating election evenings, and idiotic international incidents.”

2.  Understand What You’ve Been Through — “In your eight year George W. Bush-induced insanity, you might have even gotten to the point where you’ve forgotten what things were like before that haze began. ”

3.  Deal with Embarrassment — “People often don’t realize just how much they are suffering, vis a vis Bush. So if your loved ones aren’t aware of the problem, help them.”

4.  Acknowledge a Higher Power: The Constitution — “Is this rock bottom? Can you sink any lower? There is no need! The Constitution provides, if you give yourself over to it.”

5.  Detoxification — “Detoxing from George W. Bush requires the ability to laugh. Laughter is, indeed, the best medicine for recovery, mostly because it doesn’t need to go through an HMO or an insurance company.”

6.  Find a Sponsor — “Leaning on someone else can provide meaning and encouragement in those dark and lonely hours when you look around and realize that eight years of George W. Bush won’t be undone in a short period of time.”

7.  The Terrible Things That Have Happened — “It’s time to face the painful truth and take a close, unflinching   look at the damage wrought by George W. Bush and the power he held over you.”

8.  The People Whose Lives Have Been Damaged — “In order to change, in order to come out of your eight-year funk, you are going to have go deeper into the haze, deeper into the fog.”

9.  Make Amends — “Making amends is difficult, indeed. But by doing so, you will not only clean up the mess you have made for yourself, more importantly, you will help guarantee that no one else ever has to slog through that mess again.”

10. Avoid Relapse — “Life is not an asphalt highway. It is a bumpy, unpaved country lane, like the kind you see in our country’s crumbling infrastructure. The most common time for a relapse is just after recovery. So right now, be careful! ”

11. Carry the Message to Others — “Step number eleven is both exhilarating and frightening. It’s your opportunity to use what you’ve learned so far to help people who are still struggling with addiction. Remember, “In order to keep it, you have to give it away.”

12. A Final Prayer — “It is time to reach back into your new found commitment to your higher power, and relish the warmth and support it provides. You have changed. You are not the person you were when you started these twelve steps.”

The book includes some notable guest voices including Jonathan Larsen, Andy Tobias, Gail Evans, Dan Greenburg, Mel White, and Matt Yglesias.