You are Now Disqualified
Rumors were swirling mid-afternoon yesterday. The word was that the McCain camp would stop its slimy innuendo-izing against Obama. Those rumors now appear to have been little more than wishful thinking — which prompted me to consider all of the people that might be disqualified from running for president, if the McCain forces get their way. Here’s the list I’ve compiled so far:
1. Anyone who served for several months as a chairperson or other member of a board associated with Bill Ayers, especially if that person ever sat next to Ayers during a board meeting and traded friendly chatter before or after the meeting.
2. Anyone who lives in Bill Ayers’ neighborhood and has occasionally stopped to talk with him on the street but failed to condemn him to his face (each and every time) for what he did 40 years ago.
3. Any young politician who attends his or her first fundraiser at Bill Ayers’ house, or the house of a friend or relative of Bill Ayers, or a fundraiser elsewhere that Ayers either helped organize or simply attended as a guest.
4. Any Chicago citizen, appointed or elected leader who dared to vote “yes” on Ayers’ recognition in 1997 as Chicago’s “Citizen of the Year.”
5. Any cop whose beat includes Ayers’ neighborhood, but who failed to monitor Ayers’ whereabouts on a regular basis.
6. Any student, past, present, or future, who elected to take one of Ayers’ classes at the University of Illinois-Chicago, especially students who later admit they actually (a) enjoyed the class, and/or (b) dared to learn something from it.
Did I miss anyone?
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People with Muslim-ish-sounding names, actual Muslims, any and all celebrities, anyone under 50, anyone who has written a more popular book than “Faith of My Fathers”, members of Rev. Wright's church, people who support or enjoy planetariums such at The Adler Planetarium and approve of a $3 mil. planetarium projector for the oldest planetarium and first in the Western Hemisphere, people from states outside the continental US (except Alaska), and those dangerous, unstable people (like ones with ideas 'n stuff.)
Anyone who worked as a community organizer (aka rabble rouser!), anyone who does not wear a flag pin 24/7, anyone who lived abroad in a foreign country and attended their suspicion-arousing schools- even if it WAS elementary school, any one who once spoke to a black muslim- even if it was to turn down their support!, anyone whose parentage is not 100% WASP,anyone who took an unpatriotic stand against President Bush's decision to invade Iraq, anyone who attended an Ivy League school and excelled there, anyone who orders or who has ordered arugula in their salads instead of good ol' American iceberg lettuce, anyone who has in his past voted for tax increases on the middle class, anyone with a liberal voting record in the Senate.
Also, anyone who has a degree from a respected university (especially if they excelled), anyone who lives in a city of more than 100,000 people (especially if it's run by Democrats), anyone who sucks at bowling or is too good at basketball (except for Larry Bird — he gets a pass), anyone who eats arugula, radiccio, endive, chervil, or dandelion on purpose, anyone popular with Western Europeans (Eastern Europeans are okay — unless too many of them like you, then they're Western Europeans), or anyone who is too popular, period (except Sarah Palin — she gets a pass too).
darn, kritt beat me to it!
Anyone who wants to talk to our enemies, anyone who wants to attack our enemies but “announce” it to them, anyone who wants to talk to Spain, anyone who can campaign and address the financial crisis at the same time, anyone from the east or west coasts, anyone who has read the New York Times for anything other than opposition research.
That's ok Ricorun– great minds think alike!
Anyone who vacations in Hawaii, even if their family lives there. Anyone who doesn't think being a MILF qualifies someone as their running mate. Anyone whose name kind of reminds us of someone else we don't like.
Enjoyed the comment trail….
There is a much simpler benchmark.
If you fail the “Six Degrees of Bill Ayers” test, you are ineligible to serve in public office.