Scientific Breakthrough: Three Ply Toilet Paper
Sep 17th, 2008 | 9 responses
Toilet paper manufacturers sometimes come under fire for flimsy one- or two-ply rolls and they used to have to turn the other cheek, but now there’s good news for those concerned with the real bottom line: three-ply toilet paper.
If two-ply toilet paper is good, then three-ply tissue must be better. At least that’s what toilet-paper researchers in northeastern Wisconsin hope.
Yes, there is such a thing as a toilet-paper researcher. And a team of them at Georgia Pacific’s Innovation Institute in Neenah has come up with a three-ply version of its Quilted Northern product.
The new product will be launched Monday. The company touts the toilet tissue as “ultra-soft” and says it plans to market the product to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a “sanctuary for quality time.”
And why not? Once upon a time there were one-razor-blade razors. Now there are two, three, four and perhaps 8 -blade razors in America’s future.
Is it coincidental that news that extra-strength three-ply toilet paper comes along during one of the dirtiest presidential campaigns in American history?
No matter: it’s a big scientific development on the personal hygiene front, and researchers are flush with victory. Now the product exists. Will customers take the plunge(r)?
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9 Responses to “Scientific Breakthrough: Three Ply Toilet Paper”
haha…. damn you Joe…
I think stories like this are how journalists get their wordsmithing workouts.
…still waiting for the day the bidez becomes popular here…
But if this takes off, and everyone in Neenah starts making high-end toilet paper, who will they get to work in the manhole cover factory?
Heh, perhaps this could be the one company we could look to as a safe investment. Imagine, we could turn the economy around by investing in toilet paper…
Bidet — didn't Sally field star in that?
Why are we just getting this now? I mean, how exactly hard is it to add another ply?
Personally, I just fold my sheets over. Then you get 4-ply!
Fold over 3-ply Michael for the 6-ply win!
Joe, I love the post- I agree with Chris about the wordsmithing workouts! Thanks!
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