The Sarah Palin Cone of Silence

Rumors are slowly crystallizing into confirmed reports when it comes to the dating phase of America’s relationship with Sarah Palin. Following our brief introductions, this particular shiddach will apparently be overseen by Team McCain adhering to ancient traditions – there will be no future dates without strict chaperones in attendance and the conversations will be passed through the mothers. Should we wish to know anything further about the Alaska Governor, the campaign team will define what it is we should know and when we will find out about it.

According to Nicole Wallace of the McCain campaign, the American people don’t care whether Sarah Palin can answer specific questions about foreign and domestic policy. According to Wallace — in an appearance I did with her this morning on Joe Scarborough’s show — the American people will learn all they need to know (and all they deserve to know) from Palin’s scripted speeches and choreographed appearances on the campaign trail and in campaign ads.

No unscripted questions. No one-on-one interviews. Rick Davis was being interviewed on Morning Joe this morning and was asked, “Can you really afford not to have her do these interviews?” His response? “We can afford to do anything we want to.”

Can they really get away with this? A decade ago, when I was more of an optimist and perhaps a tad less cynical, I would have said absolutely not. This should pretty much end the chances of any campaign. But today I feel a bit older, wiser and more jaded. The two parties still hold the rights to the only game in town, and there is virtually nothing they might not attempt and perhaps even prevail with. But what is it that could drive such a drastic decision?

Are they perhaps worried that George Stephanopoulos might ask her some specific questions about her political history which the team is simply not prepared to have her answer? What if they ask questions about a city librarian whom then Mayor Palin attempted to fire because she wouldn’t remove certain objectionable books from the shelves? (She later back-pedaled and claimed it wasn’t a “serious proposal.”) Might the host pick at the scabs of speeches she made giving full throated support for the “Bridge to Nowhere” before later retreating from that position and claiming that opposition as a badge of honor during her first speech to us? Will reporters question this “fiscal conservative” about the hamlet of Wasilla which had zero fiscal debt when she arrived, but was more than $20M in debt when she departed? (Most of this was spent on a “sports complex” which later turned into a financial boondoggle and was prioritized in a town which lacked a sewage treatment plant.) Will her long reach for generous helpings of pork be brought up, even after her claims to oppose it? Of course, all such questions would likely be lumped into a category of “unfair attacks on her family.”

Or are her handlers worried that the conversation might turn to international affairs? What if she were asked her opinion of Mikheil Saakashvili and his handling of relations with his neighbors? Do they fear she might be caught with a “deer in the headlights” frozen stare at the camera? Will she be able to pronounce the name of the puppet leader of Iran? (To this day I still think of him as “President I’m a dinner jacket” so I can relate to that one.)

I’ll slip on my prognosticator’s hat for a moment and give you a prediction. Sarah Palin will eventually show up for such questioning, but she’s going to look much more tired and haggard. It won’t be from the rigors of the campaign trail, though. Word will leak out from the McCain campaign that Palin is spending 14 hour sessions with a series of wonks drilling her on matters around the globe like a high school student cramming the week before the S.A.T exams. This is a challenging task because it’s a big world and there’s a lot of material to cover. And even if she doesn’t show up to talk to reporters, they will still need to get her ready for her debate with Joe Biden. That’s one date which the parents won’t be able to cancel and no chaperones will be allowed on the stage.