Her feelings were so hurt she stopped eating

The results of the “Name Ann Coulter’s Next Book” contest are in, and the winner is “Roosevelt: Wheelchair-Riding, America-Hating Terrorist.” Plausible. I happen to like “Help: I’m Out of Liberal People, Places and Organizations to Hate” better. But the virulent vixen, as always, had a comeback:

“Well, at least now they’re trying to be funny, a welcome change from all the vomiting and fainting after the election season,” she told us by e-mail. Then the author blasted back a list of potential titles for her next tome:



“Tuesdays With Morons.”



“The Five People You Meet in Line at the Welfare Office.”



“It Takes a Village to Raise a Kid With A.D.H.D., Rage Issues, and an Eating Disorder.”



“Their Eyes Were Watching God and Banning Him From Public Schools.”

And others. I don’t care for Coulter but I might have to buy “Tuesdays With Morons” if that’s the title and put it on the shelf, just to make me laugh when I walk by. My own suggestion is “I Am Harlot Slimmin’.”