BLARGH!
by Clay Jones
I hate to overstate things, but this is bad. I feel physically ill. I’m kinda nauseous.
I was wrong. I was very wrong. I’ll admit that. When you predict an election and you lose you need to own it. I’m owning it. I predicted Hillary Clinton would win with 322 electoral votes. The doubt I had was if it would actually be 323. I was wrong but I can take heart that so many people who are more experienced at this was wrong too. People like Larry Sabato. That guys’ never wrong. He also gave Clinton 322 electoral votes.
I did hear from a lot of people gloating. I hated it but was also flattered I was the first person they thought of with their victory. I wasn’t thinking about them at all. But it’s OK. They do deserve a little victory romp and gloating, even while the stock market is crashing all around them. I’ll let them figure out where their 401K went.
I owe an apology to anyone who kept faith and hope, because of my optimism, that this nation would never elect a idiotic racist, sexist, bully, supported by our nation’s enemies, as president of the United States. I hope you don’t give up on. I’m not real happy with myself right now either.
But I’m not such a narcissist that I think the worst thing about this is that I was wrong. The worst thing is the narcissist we just put in charge of the executive branch of our government. How is this even going to work? We elected a dumb ass. He’s a man every living president refused to endorse or even be seen with. We just put a man in charge with the help of Russian spies. We elected a man endorsed by the Ku Klux Klan and Nazis. How ironic is it that the safest place in the world to flee this potential fascism is probably Germany?
My niece texted me tonight and she had been crying. She’s afraid for the world her three children have to grow up in. My son contacted me and said he’s lost any faith he had left in this country. As his father I wanted to tell him it’s wrong to feel that way but I couldn’t. I don’t know how to feel myself. I’m still in shock and I can’t think of anything positive out of this. My son and I share a love for Star Wars and he quoted Padme to me with “This is how democracy dies. To Thunderous applause.”
Oh yeah. I get to cartoon Trump for four years or until they impeach him. Sure, it’ll rain great cartoon subjects for me but as it is now a lot of my newspaper clients are already afraid of Trump supporters. I don’t know how this is going to work. I can’t make a living off of publishing only on Facebook and Twitter. Yeah, they love me there but that doesn’t pay the bills. I may not have to worry about that anyway since Trump has no love for the First Amendment. I might get two squares a day in my future gulag. Who knows. It might be the only place in America with a health care plan.
I’m sorry I can’t be gleeful or find something positive here. Sure, Clinton was a bad candidate but even if she was every little thing horrible that was ever said about her she was still infinitely better than Trump. Trump also doesn’t have a mandate as Clinton will probably lead him in the popular vote. So hey, the majority isn’t racist after all…they just all live in the right places. If nothing else Trump should have been defeated because of his ridiculous hair alone.
I drew fourteen cartoons for the live blog. If you tuned in, thank you very much. If not, go back and check them out. You’ll see I was wrong with the very first cartoon.
Check back tomorrow for my next cartoon. Then keep coming back everyday for the next four years. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. America just voted stupid.
The resistance starts now.