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Phyllis Diller’s Parting Advice for Freelances
by Linda Perret
I had the privilege of spending an afternoon with Phyllis Diller a few short weeks before she passed. Phyllis was amazing. Not only because of her talent, which truly was astounding, but also because of her generosity and willingness to share her advice with others.
And on this occasion, she didn’t let me down. We had a lovely visit but had to cut it short because I had to get home and go to work that night. It was a job I wasn’t thrilled about but yet I had agreed to be there and it was money. It was explained to Phyllis that we had to leave because “Linda had to work.” As we said good-bye, I apologized for having to shorten the visit. She took both my hands in her hands and said, “You have to do what you have to do.”
I’ve thought about that moment quite a bit since that afternoon. Usually when I find myself in a situation where I HAVE to do a job but it’s not the job I WANT to do.
As freelance writers (and performers) we face this challenge quite often. We often find ourselves in a position that we don’t really want to be in but for financial and other reasons can’t get out of it. We also tend to make excuses on why we are keeping our “day job.” And worse, we beat ourselves up over it. “I must be a failure because a success wouldn’t have to do this crummy job,” we berate ourselves.
Those were all feelings that I’ve experienced. In fact, that was the inner turmoil I was dealing with that July afternoon when we said good-bye to Phyllis. But with nine very short words, Phyllis let me know that it was okay. That what I was feeling was normal. And that I was “doing what I needed to do” and there’s nothing wrong with that. It really was okay.
We all have obligations. Whether we like it or not, sometimes those obligations get in the way of our dreams. The tricky part is not letting those obligations crush your dreams. Keep doing what you NEED to do along with doing what you WANT to do.
If you can only work on your comedy writing four hours a week, then give those four hours your all. You may want to get up on stage five nights a week, but family obligations may limit you to weekends. Instead of knocking yourself down for that, be determined to get the most out of those performances. Remind yourself that the work you have to do is temporary. Things change and slowly you can increase the time spent doing what you want to do.
If you find yourself in the same situation as me, borrow Phyllis’s words — I know she wouldn’t mind – and tell yourself, “I have to do what I have to do.” And then work hard to change things.
Linda Perret is an award winning comedy writer and author whose father Gene Perret is considered to be what one one website calls “the guru of comedy writing.” He has done comedy writing for comedians such as Phyllis Diller, Bob Hope, Carol Burnett, Bill Cosby, Tim Conway, and many others and won three Emmy Awards for his work on The Carol Burnett Show. She has written books on her own, works with her father on a major website that helps teach new and veteran comedy writers, and another website that now offers free up to date one liners and jokes. This article is cross-posted from her blog. She and her father have just published “Comedy Writing Self-Taught Workbook: More than 100 Practical Writing Exercises to Develop Your Comedy Writing Skills,” which is available on Amazon.
“Phyllis Diller Allan Warren” by Allan warren – Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Phyllis_Diller_Allan_Warren.jpg#/media/File:Phyllis_Diller_Allan_Warren.jpg