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This Just In!

This just in from investigative reporter Andy Borowitz:

McCain Vows to Campaign in All Thirteen Colonies
Kicks Off Contest in Dominion of Virginia

Republican presidential nominee John McCain officially kicked off his general election campaign today, promising to bring his race for the White House to “all thirteen colonies.”

At a campaign stop in the Dominion of Virginia, Sen. McCain said that if his Democratic opponent, Sen. Barack Obama, takes any of the thirteen colonies for granted, “he doth so at his peril.”

Sen. McCain made his remarks in the Dominion of Virginia, which many McCain advisers concede will be a key colony in the fall election.

But in announcing his 13-colony strategy, Sen. McCain appeared to give notice that he intends to contest such traditional Democratic strongholds as the Province of Massachusetts Bay.

Read the whole thing.

You can read more of Borowitz’s reports here.

  • Oh, man, Obama's gonna kick his ass in the other 44 states!
  • bellisaurius
    I think PC can be funny because of the boundaries it sets to most comedy. For example, the age thing above is ok (I laughed at it, too. Let's be fair) the following similar joke wouldn't be funny:

    Obama kicks off watermelon belt tour.

    However, this one might be :

    Obama conducts US vitner tour.

    Or maybe not. But it's not quite offensive either. But I don;t think it's just offensiveness that's the bad thing because

    Obama to sample milkmaid's jugs

    while being enough of an entendre to get it, but not funny to laugh at, is still not out of the question for humor (or at least my sad attempts at the moment).

    Well, I guess the bottom line is that we each have our individual consciences to deal with these things (which of course predates PC. I beleive it used to be called tastefulness of tact), on one hand, and on the other hand, some people will be bothered by everything (I wasn't bothered by this one, -the funnier something is, the more they can get away with- but I thought it was a chance to examine the topic while it's out there) .
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