H. L. Mencken, The Master
On elections:
Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other’s speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.
On the lazy thought patterns of cynicism
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
On the frou-frou of over-idealism
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
On the worst of being a politico
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
A possible metaphoric cure for elections ennui
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.
Yes. Ay! maties! might be just the right attitude for now. Otherwise, too much of the ultra-boring [read, insubstantive] “sound byte culture of candidates” is going to make us all lose a lot of I.Q points. The repetition by candidates who bring ‘no new news’ and no thought in depth, reminds me of a time I drove the PanAmerican highway and my Jeep broke down in the middle of NowhereNohow Honduras.
Another auto finally came along, promising to send help back. Another 12 hours until a sweet little mechanico in a burnt out VW that coughed more than hummed came chugging through the jungle to help me. Meanwhile. I had a tape deck. And batteries. And one tape. Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds. I know. It could have been worse. But Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds even though I liked it fine, after 12 hours straight…. I can hardly stand it any more.
Look, I have the black eye patch. Do you have the tri-cornered hat with the plume? Knee-high boots. Check. Golden earring? Check. Dagger looks? Check. Squinty eye for far-seeing? Check. Ability to roll with the waves, check. Treasure map well oiled? check. Eye on the goal? Check. See, we’re all set. Now, to load the vessel so it floats deep rather than shallow…
CODA
Really do have a pirate eyepatch. Was tempted to put up pix of self with blackguard eye patch at toptext re this article. But I hear that image has already been taken by another commentator. You know …um… you know who? Although, I don’t know, maybe there ought to be a counter-Pirate-ess. And a Pirate Party too… as in Democratic Party, Republican Party, Pirate Party….
On a serious note, my grandmother, a refugee from Hungary after WWII, used to say humor was never more rampant in Hungary, nor were more jokes whispered about the government, than during the years the Hungarians were prisoners and pawns of Hitler and his fellow-monster Axis leaders.