Silverstein Announces He Won’t Be Running For Congress in 2014

The rumors are true. I, Michael Silverstein, will not be running for Congress in 2014. I will also not be running for Mayor of Philadelphia nor Governor of Pennsylvania.

In addition, I’m formally putting the kibosh on talk of raising money for an exploratory committee to test the waters for a run at the presidency in 2016. And I will not accept an appointment to the Supreme Court nor become a cabinet member in the present or any future administration in Washington.

While it’s true that no one at any time has actually suggested (or even hinted) they would support me for any of these political races or for these appointments, that doesn’t necessarily mean that a lot of people weren’t secretly thinking of doing so. I might have countless thousands, nay, untold millions, of secret backers, though admittedly, most have never consciously entertained such thoughts.

The human mind is still not well understood by science. By science! So just because there’s been no known measure of this support using the imperfect tools currently available to do so doesn’t prove it didn’t exist.

Would I have been a good person to fill any of the above posts? In this regard, you might ask the same question about Christine O’Donnell for senator or Herman Cain for president. I mean, do you have to make sense as a candidate or appointee for a high office in this country today? Have you looked closely at some of the people who are actually holding top jobs in Washington and in state capitals? Shoot your mouth off in a public forum, be silly enough to take yourself seriously, the sky’s the limit.

A lot of thought went into my personal political decisions. I made them in order to spend more time with my family. I also plan to dedicate more time to promoting my new novel, The Bellman’s Revenge, a poignant work that examines the two greatest fears of modern day Americans — toilet seat-borne venereal disease and excessive parking ticketing.

Parvis imbutus tentabis grandia tutus.

3 Comments

  1. Very clever. Great way to start my day; with a smile! Well done.

  2. Well done! Good decision; it’s probably better that way.

    Now, what do you suppose is the mental quirk that leads so many candidates to think that “countless thousands, nay, untold millions, of secret backers” are out there for them? I believe this is a serious question that demands a serious answer(s) (only partially kidding, here). No doubt this applies to political parties as well, but probably not to Ms. Clinton.

    :-)

  3. Michael, I would suggest you reconsider. No, not the running part, the exploratory committee part. Who could say anything if you divert the funds for your next colonoscopy. You would be more honest than most politicians that wind up with some loot still in the bag that gets lost in the shuffle. Some have even stiffed little people during their campaigns and then used the money to start worm farms or handed out aluminum foil for hats the better to communicate with their millions of “secret backers”.

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