Silverstein Announces He Won’t Be Running For Congress in 2014

The rumors are true. I, Michael Silverstein, will not be running for Congress in 2014. I will also not be running for Mayor of Philadelphia nor Governor of Pennsylvania.

In addition, I’m formally putting the kibosh on talk of raising money for an exploratory committee to test the waters for a run at the presidency in 2016. And I will not accept an appointment to the Supreme Court nor become a cabinet member in the present or any future administration in Washington.

While it’s true that no one at any time has actually suggested (or even hinted) they would support me for any of these political races or for these appointments, that doesn’t necessarily mean that a lot of people weren’t secretly thinking of doing so. I might have countless thousands, nay, untold millions, of secret backers, though admittedly, most have never consciously entertained such thoughts.

The human mind is still not well understood by science. By science! So just because there’s been no known measure of this support using the imperfect tools currently available to do so doesn’t prove it didn’t exist.

Would I have been a good person to fill any of the above posts? In this regard, you might ask the same question about Christine O’Donnell for senator or Herman Cain for president. I mean, do you have to make sense as a candidate or appointee for a high office in this country today? Have you looked closely at some of the people who are actually holding top jobs in Washington and in state capitals? Shoot your mouth off in a public forum, be silly enough to take yourself seriously, the sky’s the limit.

A lot of thought went into my personal political decisions. I made them in order to spend more time with my family. I also plan to dedicate more time to promoting my new novel, The Bellman’s Revenge, a poignant work that examines the two greatest fears of modern day Americans — toilet seat-borne venereal disease and excessive parking ticketing.

Parvis imbutus tentabis grandia tutus.