2008 Election Fatigue 12 Months Too Early: Any Alternative to Just “Change Parties and Dance”?
Nov 28th, 2007 | 5 responses
H. L. Mencken, The Master
On elections:
Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other’s speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.
On the lazy thought patterns of cynicism
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
On the frou-frou of over-idealism
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
On the worst of being a politico
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
A possible metaphoric cure for elections ennui
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.
Yes. Ay! maties! might be just the right attitude for now. Otherwise, too much of the ultra-boring [read, insubstantive] “sound byte culture of candidates” is going to make us all lose a lot of I.Q points. The repetition by candidates who bring ‘no new news’ and no thought in depth, reminds me of a time I drove the PanAmerican highway and my Jeep broke down in the middle of NowhereNohow Honduras.
Another auto finally came along, promising to send help back. Another 12 hours until a sweet little mechanico in a burnt out VW that coughed more than hummed came chugging through the jungle to help me. Meanwhile. I had a tape deck. And batteries. And one tape. Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds. I know. It could have been worse. But Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds even though I liked it fine, after 12 hours straight…. I can hardly stand it any more.
Look, I have the black eye patch. Do you have the tri-cornered hat with the plume? Knee-high boots. Check. Golden earring? Check. Dagger looks? Check. Squinty eye for far-seeing? Check. Ability to roll with the waves, check. Treasure map well oiled? check. Eye on the goal? Check. See, we’re all set. Now, to load the vessel so it floats deep rather than shallow…
CODA
Really do have a pirate eyepatch. Was tempted to put up pix of self with blackguard eye patch at toptext re this article. But I hear that image has already been taken by another commentator. You know …um… you know who? Although, I don’t know, maybe there ought to be a counter-Pirate-ess. And a Pirate Party too… as in Democratic Party, Republican Party, Pirate Party….
On a serious note, my grandmother, a refugee from Hungary after WWII, used to say humor was never more rampant in Hungary, nor were more jokes whispered about the government, than during the years the Hungarians were prisoners and pawns of Hitler and his fellow-monster Axis leaders.
5 Responses to “2008 Election Fatigue 12 Months Too Early: Any Alternative to Just “Change Parties and Dance”?”
I want to see the real campaigning
Not that it may make much of a difference — Hillary Clinton is well-favored to win the Dem nomination and the Presidency; the GOP leaders are Dems Lite and are unappealing, and the whole GOP field is largely weak. More interesting will be who becomes the VP “candidate” on each side, and that’s not going to be revealed for months, even if we have guesses already.
In the meantime, I suppose it’s fun to watch the “other” (less desireable) party’s candidates start to attack each other more harshly, eventually.
Hey, Rudy — will FEMA pay for future love den trips?
The Pirate Party exists and is solely concerned with piracy laws. If they expanded their platform to include concern for the number of pirates being inversely proportional to global warming (as noted in Pastafarianism) and picked up a few more ideas, they might get somewhere.
Harrar harrar! So Pirate Party be findin’ its day an’ me thinks it’s none too soon.
An’ lest ye think we done fell off yon poopdeck a mere yestreen or two, remember: Our plank be long ‘n’ sound…
There was a senator who thought my outfit was cute and made other seductive comments before it all went wrong. I never knew what hit me but there I lay in the middle of Main street, rolled over on my front, a knee cap at the back of my neck, my hands tied with plastic cuffs, blood leaking out from behind my pirate eye patch. I dropped my sword when I was first tazered and my three cornered hat was knocked off my head and went flying away. My uncovered eye is lingerie red from the pepper spray and I can’t stop crying. It all happened when I stood up at a Clinton speech , declaring aloud, “ahoy matey” , trying to get people interested in my treasure map proved a difficult task, though a few addicts seemed interested in my fake gold earring. Needless to say, next time I’ll have to strap a few fire crackers around my body to get a little respect.
dear DLS, I think we ALL want to see in depth what all these guys and a gal are really about; not the suit; the person IN THE suit. I dont know. I was kidding about being pirates. But, I’m not kidding, and I know neither are you, when we see ‘leaders’ acting clownish instead of leaderly.
dear altamira, great name. Thank you for that. That was funny.
dear Meaghan, wow, you speak like a native. “Our plank be long and sound” also made me laugh right out loud
dear Spirasol; goodness. we need a pirate girl bodyguard, clearly.