(Updated) Paris Hilton Bawls Her Way Out of An L.A. Celebrity Slammer
Paris Hilton has finally done it to me. She has so outraged my sensibilities that here I am blogging on this sack of celebrity excrement instead of analyzing every jot and tittle of the presidential race.
As everyone but those hundreds of tortured souls rotting in Gitmo surely know by now, the hotel heiress was streeted only five days into her 23-day sentence (already reduced from 45 days) in a celebrity lockup for repeatedly driving drunk.
The reason: Paris couldn’t sleep and had become a sniveling mess. She will serve the rest of her sentence at home with a tracking device attached to her ankle.
The New York Post said she was seen crying after she cracked “under the pressure of prison.”
Paris, who reportedly is a moderate Republican, had unsuccessfully appealed to California Governor Schwarzenneger to commute her sentence. Her attorneys argued in an irony-free petition that “She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.”
Despite her Oscar-winning performance, I expect that it will be only a matter of time before this exceedingly stupid, if rich, harlot is in trouble again despite her stating prior to her imprisonment that:
“In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make.”
Scooter Libby was not available for comment. There are rumors that the nascent Fred Thompson presidential campaign is interested in bringing her on as a spokesmodel, but for the moment the “high ground” in this toxic waste dump belongs to none other than Al Sharpton, who in a statement grumped that:
“Though I have nothing but empathy for Ms. Hilton whom I have met and appeared with on Saturday Night Live the night I hosted in 2003, this early release gives all of the appearances of economic and racial favoritism that is constantly cited by poor people and people of color. There are any number of cases of people who handle being incarcerated badly and even have health conditions that are not released.â€
We all share your pain, Big Al.
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I am not sure why this bothers me so MUCH! I really never expected her to go anyway. Why are any of us so caught up in anything hollywood? It’s so much like our government…all glitz and no substance. Why don’t we raise our voice loud enough to stop all the crap in both places!? I guess it’s just another straw on the camels back…..after hearing that our government supports the illeagals with more stuff than we give our own troops!!! It is too late isn’t it. It is down to the wire, and we’ve thrown up our hands.
Here is my take on it all: Libby will do the same thing. Once he goes to jail, he will cry, call for his mamma, say ‘i’m sooo sorry’ and they’ll let him go / Bush will pardon him.
This kind of stuff has to stop. By letting people like Paris get off lightly only undermines our legal system. Letting her out early will do more damage if she is, as they claim, a role model for young people. Now young people are going to think they can do anything and get away with it like Paris. Gonna be ugly when they find out they have to be rather wealthy and powerfully connected to get the rubber glove treatment. Actually I hope that the fact that she was let out because she was such a cry baby would have a negative effect on her image, but I won’t hold my breath on that one.
As for Libby, if he is pardoned then the Republicans have no right to hold onto their tough on crime image, because they are only tough on crime when it is not one of their own. In fact by losing their tough on crime image, I think it will damage their tough on terrorism image, which is about all they have got going right now and is fading rather fast on its own.
This will sound harsh, but here it is. When the fragile heiress decided she couldn’t live with the spartan accomodations, the county should have rewarded her with a chance to spend the rest of her sentence at Gitmo.
I hope at least she has to do some community service. The movie of her life should be called “The Young and the Useless.”
Ashen Shard- You are right about the Republicans. How many times during Monicagate did they sanctimoniously go on about the rule of law and personal responsibility. Now obstruction and perjury have become accidental memory lapses. Little Scooter had too much to think about and he couldn’t be expected to remember everything.
It is incredible to me how the right wing can still claim this with a straight face.
If this were anyone else, they would be serving 1 year plus!!
Send her to Turkey or Syria for a little rendition and waterboarding!!
“She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.â€
At least her lawyers provide a bit of comic relief.
My mundane life can use a laugh now and then.
Its absolutely disgusting. Can anyone dig in a bit and find out which judge or authority authorized this travesty? Someone signed off on this and their names should be held up for public ridicule.
I hate Paris as much as anyone and I’m disgusted that she was released — but someone should at least fact-check these articles. Her sentence was for repeatedly driving with a suspended license, not repeatedly driving drunk. (She got caught for that once — which is why her license was suspended.) And that petition was NOT written by her lawyers, but by her “friend Joshua”, and was posted on her MySpace page. And she did not win an Oscar for her performance. I think you meant “Oscar-worthy”.
If you’re going to blog about trashy celebrity scandals, you should at least show some pride in your editing.