The Weirdest Republican Story That You’ll Read Until The Next One


Dec 13, 2011 by


These smiling folks are Kathy and Bill Johnson.

Bill is a former Republican gubernatorial candidate in Arkansas. Kathy is the freaked out wife of a former Republican gubernatorial candidate in Arkansas.

Kathy is freaked out because she learned over the weekend that Bill, who as a Christian conservative had campaigned against same sex marriage, has donated sperm to several lesbian women.

The New Zealand Herald reported that while volunteering for earthquake recovery in Christchurch, Bill had used the online pseudonym “chchbill” to find women who wanted to have babies.

Johnson had been in communication with as many as nine lesbians who wanted to have children, the newspaper said. Three are already pregnant and three others may have accepted sperm from him.

The newspaper said that the fertility medicine community was concerned because guidelines suggest that no man should donate sperm to more than three women to prevent accidental incest.

One of the pregnant lesbian women explained that Johnson had only told her and her partner about donating to one other woman.

“He was in a hurry,” she said of their initial meeting in a public place. “We were looking at December. He said ‘If you want it done, we’ll do it now.’”

The couple said Johnson was wearing no wedding ring, and told them that his current relationship status “was not an issue.”

Johnson claimed that his wife knew he wanted to become a donor, but when ask if she knew he had gone through with the plan, he said, “She does now.”

“I am married to the most beautiful woman in the world,” he explained. “When I married her I knew we couldn’t have any more children. Kathy had a hysterectomy 10 years ago.”

For her part, Kathy reacted with surprise.

“This is a really, really difficult time for our family,” the former Mrs. Alabama told the Alabama Press-Register. “I’m still in disbelief and very hurt, and our family has a lot of healing to do.”

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15 Comments

  1. dduck

    Hmmm, glad he was a Rep, we wouldn’t want anyone to think bad things about a Dem.

  2. The_Ohioan

    dd

    Here’s one, though it’s old news, doesn’t involve a Christian Conservative, and lacks the innovative panache of Mr. Johnson. Hope it helps.

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20083560-503544.html

  3. dduck

    Thanks, Ohio, but the Dems will say it is too old. They are reformed lately and letting the Reps take over the juicy sexy stuff.

  4. ChiRon

    The Dems’ scandals lack irony, and Reps lack the genetic material to recognize irony when they see it.

  5. slamfu

    Seroiusly, this isn’t a Republican story. They guy ran for office and apparently didn’t win. He’s a private citizen, with a private life. It might be messed up but I don’t care what people are doing as long as:

    1) They aren’t harming me or society in general or breaking the law
    2) They aren’t an elected official trying to pass laws about how I live my life and then being hypocritical about it in their own lives

    Since this guys isn’t an elected official, I can hardly call this a “Republican” story.

  6. dduck

    Chiron, how easily you’ve forgotten the Weiner/weiner episode.
    Also, it’s hilariously ironic that Hillary wound up with the bigger set.

  7. roro80

    Right, dduck. Weiner. So what are you complaining about, then? Are we still supposed to be talking about him? Is there an obligatory “Weiner TM’ed his weiner” prior to every sex-related scandal that breaks from now until forever? Would that make you feel all happy and squishy inside?

  8. dduck

    Have a gluten free Oreo and careful of the crumbs.

  9. roro80

    “Have a gluten free Oreo and careful of the crumbs.”

    I don’t think the expression you’re parodying means what you think it means. Oh, and also Weiner TM’ed his weiner.

  10. dduck

    Alas, I’m not that clever (as you’ve pointed many times), I merely mentioned the gluten free because I just had one and they are pretty good.
    The pastas I don’t care for so far.

  11. roro80

    dduck — you just have to remember they’re made of rice, so cook them like you’d cook rice.

    However, my point stands that there’s no obligation to bring up Dem sex scandals every time a Rep one comes up. Now that you’ve thoroughly derailed pretty much the entire thread, I suppose we’re done.

  12. dduck

    Still tastes gummy, thanks.

  13. Cannonshop

    Um…I don’t get the scandal part. Other than this guy doing something…nice? It’s not like he was trying to inject the sperm via his OEM equipment, after all. I suppose someone MIGHT worry that their kids and his kids might ‘get it on’ or that there might be some contesting over his will upon his death or sommat, but really? I suppose some of his anti-gay supporters might have an issue, but…

    Scandal? HOW??

  14. dduck

    CS, besides being a little interesting, it was just another chance for Shaun to link words like Republican and weirdest in a headline grabber. Journalist license, I think it’s called.

  15. Cannonshop

    OH! Yeah, okay, I think I get it now-a Republican did something nice, so the author thinks it’s weird. Gotcha.