The VAT Song (Sung To The Tune Of “Home On The Range”

When markets force Congress to finally get serious about reducing deficits, you’ll start hearing a lot about a Value Added Tax. Long popular in Europe, VATs raise huge amounts of money for a government while falling most heavily on the poor. And what Republican congressman could object to that?

The VAT Song

Oh, give me a home,
Like in Stuttgart or Rome,
Where you’re taxed on the basics you buy;
Though it may not seem fair,
Tax collectors don’t care,
Cause the take is so wonderfully high.

Chorus
VAT, that’s where it’s at,
A tax that is wonderfully flat;
It makes the poor twitch,
But falls light on the rich,
And no one could argue with that.

My accountant is slick,
He knows ev’ry trick,
He brags ev’ry time that I call:
“With a tax code regressive
Your wealth’s more impressive,
Your heirs will be having a ball.”

Chorus
VAT, that’s where it’s at,
A tax that is wonderfully flat;
It makes the poor twitch,
But falls light on the rich,
And no one could argue with that.

I deserve to live free,
No estate tax for me,
And a payroll tax that’s nicely skewed;
As taxes get flatter,
“They’re fairer,” I natter,
And the rubes go along and get screwed.

Chorus
VAT, that’s where it’s at,
A tax that is wonderfully flat;;
It makes the poor twitch,
But falls light on the rich,
And no one could argue with that.

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