GIVE UP NOW – OUR YOUTH IS CLUELESS

I haven’t posted on TMV for a while due to various personal and business factors. I’ve sort of burnt out my brain with the overall inanity of our public discourse. However I still read Internet blogs of many other writers.

A friend from Cleveland, OH sent me an email recently and I thought it was rather humorous and sad at the same time. I have reprinted it below (including extra comments from others) since it’s probably now in the public domain having been emailed around the Internet by many people – including corporations who are people too.

I’ll put up other interesting articles by other authors from around the Internet over the next few days. I personally will have something worthwhile to say about current events – eventually – but most TMV readers are probably not in any hurry to read my thoughts until after our nation’s “jobless” Labor Day.

The following questions were asked in last year’s GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)…………and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. (Unless they live in Phoenix which has only 2 seasons: warm & hot as hell.)

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight. (The flat earth society lives on.)

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist upon?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed. (That explains why banks f**ked so many customers who applied for mortgages.)

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. (Congress is proof of that statement.)

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)

Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (At least they get to travel!)

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.(So true!)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. (WTF)

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)

Q How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U. (WTF)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie. (This person has a career in politics!)

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby. (Would have guessed wrong even with multiple choice.)

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work.)

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Cesarean section’.
A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome.(As noted in Gibbon’s Rise & Fall of the Roman Empire.)

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable! – What about the old Terminal Tower railroad station in Cleveland?)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny umbrellas.

Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you ‘be eight.’ (Brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shrek wears on his head. (That person is too dumb to be racist.)

These people will eventually vote — They are the future generation & they will breed. America is in deep (sh*t) dodo. Perhaps we really do have a mismatch between current job openings and applicants – and it will only get worse.

There may be some rationale behind China’s one-child policy that could apply here. Each family does not have to add to the overall stupidity of our society by having too many children. Isn’t it fun watching the Empire collapse?

Reprinted by Marc Pascal from Phoenix, AZ.